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Why Always Ste

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Been with this woman for over a year now and although most of the time I enjoy her company - We are so consumed by each other that quality time usually turns into frustration resulting in arguments.

She has Anxiety issues that she says are related to previous relationships, where guys have cheated on her and the rest of it.
So i'm constantly being treated like I'm the bad guy - everywhere I go i'm questioned... One or two questions I could tolerate but being asked the same questions over and over and being txt 15+ times aday... it does get out of hand.

What you upto today? this is a normal question, however I get asked: will there be women there? your only going because there is women there... what time are you back? thats too late....

These kind of questions are asked when I go to football matches, martial arts classes, the gym and so on... if I was on the piss with mates then i'd understand her anxiety but I don't even drink.

Ladies and Gentlemen - what should I do?

My heart tells me to stick at it, she has a bright future ahead of her interms of career and she is intelligent, just a shame about these anxiety issues.

My head tells me to just cut my ties and force her to leave my house.
 
well by the sound of it you need to tackle the issue for both your sakes.

have a heart to heart...honesty always works....she s smothering you and clouding your head with alsorts.

don t let anybodies opinion of your missus effect the outcome....best of luck mate!


... been there done that!!! :)
 
Its a tricky 1 that she is living with you. The consent questions after a while does piss you off. What is she like when she goes out with the girls do you consently ring her up. Women like that are the hardest to break up with you dont know what there reaction is going to be will they do something stupid or not is the biggest question.

If I was you and you really want to be with the girl tell her out straight that all these questions about what and were I have been have to stop. I cant take it much longer as it is begining to ruin our relationship together.

Or you could always ask her to go to the match with you now and again so she is not fretting about you and to the gym from time to time. Get her out with your mates and there girlfriends go out together just to shut her moaning up from time to time should help. If all this does not work then do whats best for yourself pack her bags and kick her out.
 
Give her a dig, not a proper one, just hard enough to make her think...

....let her know there is more where that came from!!

Yes, I am single!!
 
All women are paranoid ,needy and neurotic ,but this one seems to be kicking the arse out of it .

Offload now , it will only get worse .
 
Maybe you should introduce her to Viagra.
She sounds very insecure and like all women, needs attention, yours with so many others needs more than most. There could also be underlying mental problems. Dangerous ground imo. If shes fit then get her some proper help from the docs. Otherwise bin it and move on..we're only here once.
 
Like the other guys have said the first thing to do is definitely have a proper heart to heart with her. And amongst the empathy and understanding throw in the harsh irony that the only thing thats going to jeapodize your relationship isnt the things that she fears...but the fact that she's fearing them.

From there, it depends how deep-rooted her insecurities and issues are.
If they, like she says, only manifested themselves from previous relationships then, by being with a trustworthy guy, they should lessen over time as she 'relearns' to trust again.
But if they stem from childhood then you've probably got a long road ahead mate.

It sounds like she's aware of these issues (by attributing them to previous relationships) so thats certainly encouraging.
Would be far far worse if she regarded her distrust as perfectly normal.
 
right, seems you have a problem with this woman. I`m probably a fair bit older than most on here, so what I will say is down to experience. I have had the misfortune to be in a similar position once myself. From what little you have said about her I would suggest that her insicurities will not lessen as time goes bye but will manifest into something that will make your life a misery for as long as you are prepared to put up with it. Do yourself a favour, save yourself a lot of wasted time and get rid of now. dont look back, dont feel sorry for her, just do it, or all the sorrow will be yours for a long , long time.
 
mcfcliam said:
Lucas North said:
All women are paranoid ,needy and neurotic ,but this one seems to be kicking the arse out of it .

Offload now , it will only get worse .
Click to expand...

Words of wisdom from Lucas North.

;-)
Click to expand...

Cheers, liam , you know it makes sense .

Your old mate Der-Bomber will be coming back from the Crusades soon ,you will be pleased to know , hopefully for WH away .
 
I can't see the problem. She just wants reassuring that's all. And if you like her then what's wrong with putting in a little effort for her peace of mind.
 
Just fuck her off

Life is far too short for all that bollocks

I had a burd like that, pestered the fuck out of me. I otld her to stop, she didnt, she got binned and cried like fuck

Cant be arsed with it
 
Just talk to her about it. And assure her she has nothing to worry about.
My girlfriend was like that for a couple of months into our relationship.
We spoke about it and sorted it out, she realised she was being silly.

Weve now been together for 2 and a half years. And i couldnt be more happier (as soppy as that sounds)
 
Go with your gut mate, if you can box it then great, realy. If you end up unhappy and start getting at eachother every two minutes, then Ste, 'you become what you are trying to fight' and you seem like a nice dude, give it a week or two and then thats it, you may as well be dead mate rather than EXIST like that, because thats all you'll be doing. Good Luck anyway man.
 
let her know it's pissing you off and give her the chance of stopping. bit of rationality usually goes a long way - if it doesn't then file as unworkable.
 
Thanks for the replies guys...

Many of the suggestions such as having a heart to heart we've had many times now, she is listening to my thoughts and feelings, changes for several weeks and everything is rosey, then bang she re-introduces this posessivenes and we're back to were we started.

I will probably end it with her, just a tough one as she is living here now, with all her stuff in my home.

She needs to realise her selfish behaviour, she thinks the whole world revolves around herself and my life has been affected by this interms of career and social life.
Maybe moving back to her fathers will make her realise this?

A good point raised by a previous poster here was the insecurities possibly stemming from her childhood.
Myself and my family have long suspected that her father is very controling and posessive himself, this was also confirmed by his ex-wife (my girlfriends mother)

Where now? well i'll chat to her at the weekend, and probably break the news, just hard getting her out of the house (without using force)
 
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