What you have to do, at the age of forty five, is continue the fucking stupid attitude shown to 'fashion' by fuckwit football fans in the eighties (and some today, in some cases).
Become completely and utterly obsessed by the name on a piece of cloth attached to a shit piece of clothing and rub yourself (and your mates) raw over such items at every possible opportunity.
Do every single thing you can to mock people like Gok Wan and other such tossers, but act in exactly the same ridiculous manner as his ilk, with the camp toned down. "Ooooooooohhh, look at my Sergio Tacchini!". You wot?
Spend silly amounts of money on certain brands of clothing, even though you earn a very average wage, when you could get just as good an item of clothing, in fact, probably virtually the exact same item of clothing, for half the price.
Nothing in the world, ever, is sadder than a middle aged man (or even a young man) who has favourite makes of fashion. In fact, the funny thing is that it often results in them looking like the biggest bellends going in the fashion stakes because they will then pretty much wear anything that has a certain brand/comes from a certain shop and will be convinced that it is "smart" - especially because they tend to hang around with other nobs with the same attitudes who will confirm this for them.
In fact, I will go as far as to say that, apart from total scruffs, these people are usually the worst dressed people around as they are more interested in labels than what suits them and often end up looking like an identikit wanker, dressed in stuff that they are told looks good or dressed in clothes that are designed for someone 10 years younger than them.
A man who is concerned about a label or who has a favourite label is almost always a dick.
(Not that the OP suggested that at all, I just fancied a rant)
