What a Barsteward of a day.

[Magicpole]

Magic, how soft is your face ?

I ask because hands that do dishes can fell soft as your face with mild green .....what do you mean fuck off, that's not very nice is it.

My face is lovely, can be set in a greeting faced **** mode at times, but I do smile from time to time.

 

[stonerblue]

Fucking dishwasher you big jessy?

 

[Magicpole]

Fucking dishwasher you big jessy?

Two fucking dishwashers. Double big Jessie. Guilty as charged.

 

[stonerblue]

Two fucking dishwashers. Double bug Jessie. Guilty as charged.

At least you've got something to eat your tea off of now.

 

[Magicpole]

At least you've got something to eat your tea off of now.

That and hands as soft as my face.

 

[aka blue jambo]

Football is a cruel game. Do you think you’re losing Laugharty to Sevco?

yup , he is offski i think
if it means 3 ew players in then im genuinely not fussed

 

[Trevor Morley's Tache]

Look on the bright side, at least you didn't get grassed up by your former lawyer, or have you campaign manager found guilty of numerous corruption charges, and be potentially put into a position to grass you up for conspiring with a foreign country to influence your election.

 

[Magicpole]

yup , he is offski i think
if it means 3 ew players in then im genuinely not fussed

Just saw he’s at Mordor getting a fitness test. I hate the ****, but he is effective and I think you will miss his goals.

 

[Magicpole]

Look on the bright side, at least you didn't get grassed up by your former lawyer, or have you campaign manager found guilty of numerous corruption charges, and be potentially put into a position to grass you up for conspiring with a foreign country to influence your election.

That’s the only thing that holds insanity at bay.

 

[dobingsdobber]

So here the back story, about a year ago we got a new dishwasher from a pal. First time I switched the **** on it stopped working. I emptied it and decided, that as I am an eco warrior, first class, that fuck it, I would do my bit to save the planet and wash by hand.

Don’t get me wrong, the next day I regretted my decision, but being a twat, had backed myself into a corner of principals and had to suck it up. Not the dishwasher water, the situation.

Anyway, time has trundled on and it was starting to do my tits in, so last week I ordered a new one to be delivered today.

I looked at the dishes from last nights meal and said fuck you cunts, no more, before heading to bed.


Two guys turn up in a bit of a mood.

I have toothache, so I’m also in a **** of a mood.


“We’ve been trying to get you on the phone for directions”

I then remembered I had ended about five consecutive calls thinking they were PPI cunts. He then gave me a look that I didn’t like.

The toothache took over

Me: “Who the fuck are you glaring at pal? Any of your Shite and you can stick that up your fucking arse. Get a fucking satnav”

He apologised, so I let it go.

In they come and they set about taking the old one out.

Him: Problem. We can’t get into the plug. This cupboard has been built around it.

Me: oh ffs, don’t tell me the prick who fitted it has sealed it?

Him: Yes, we can’t fit it, but you can call the office and they will take off the fitting charge”

I was raging, phoned the missus to get the number of the guy who fitted the thing, she refused to give me it as I, @would be abusive to him.”

The delivery guys left and my stepson has a look, 20 seconds later he had disconnected the plug and within 20 minutes it was all fitted.

He put it on to rinse it out and twenty minutes in it stopped, just like the last one.


Me: FUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCK!!

Checked the manual to see what the flashing lights meant. Cannot empty.

Starts disconnecting when he noticed that The bellend who fitted the last one had put the adjoining thingy on without cutting the end. The water couldn’t escape.

We looked at each other, then looked at the old one that was now in the living room.

Yes, there was Fuck all wrong with it and I had been doing dishes for a year, because the handyman was not very handy. So now I have two perfectly good dishwashers.

I always use Fairy, so the every cloud moment is my hands are as soft as my face.
I’m now considering sending the new one back.

12 months of dishes though. Is that even legal? And I still have toothache.

Paper plates, plastic cups, knives and forks all available at Poundstretcher. Get a years supply for about two quid.Eat, enjoy, chuck in the bin. Also reasonable pair of pliers for
£1.50 for all your home dental needs. Sorted.