What a Barsteward of a day.

Magicpole said:
So here the back story, about a year ago we got a new dishwasher from a pal. First time I switched the **** on it stopped working. I emptied it and decided, that as I am an eco warrior, first class, that fuck it, I would do my bit to save the planet and wash by hand.

Don’t get me wrong, the next day I regretted my decision, but being a twat, had backed myself into a corner of principals and had to suck it up. Not the dishwasher water, the situation.

Anyway, time has trundled on and it was starting to do my tits in, so last week I ordered a new one to be delivered today.

I looked at the dishes from last nights meal and said fuck you cunts, no more, before heading to bed.


Two guys turn up in a bit of a mood.

I have toothache, so I’m also in a **** of a mood.


“We’ve been trying to get you on the phone for directions”

I then remembered I had ended about five consecutive calls thinking they were PPI cunts. He then gave me a look that I didn’t like.

The toothache took over

Me: “Who the fuck are you glaring at pal? Any of your Shite and you can stick that up your fucking arse. Get a fucking satnav”

He apologised, so I let it go.

In they come and they set about taking the old one out.

Him: Problem. We can’t get into the plug. This cupboard has been built around it.

Me: oh ffs, don’t tell me the prick who fitted it has sealed it?

Him: Yes, we can’t fit it, but you can call the office and they will take off the fitting charge”

I was raging, phoned the missus to get the number of the guy who fitted the thing, she refused to give me it as I, @would be abusive to him.”

The delivery guys left and my stepson has a look, 20 seconds later he had disconnected the plug and within 20 minutes it was all fitted.

He put it on to rinse it out and twenty minutes in it stopped, just like the last one.


Me: FUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCK!!

Checked the manual to see what the flashing lights meant. Cannot empty.

Starts disconnecting when he noticed that The bellend who fitted the last one had put the adjoining thingy on without cutting the end. The water couldn’t escape.

We looked at each other, then looked at the old one that was now in the living room.

Yes, there was Fuck all wrong with it and I had been doing dishes for a year, because the handyman was not very handy. So now I have two perfectly good dishwashers.

I always use Fairy, so the every cloud moment is my hands are as soft as my face.
I’m now considering sending the new one back.

12 months of dishes though. Is that even legal? And I still have toothache.
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Get some string and a heavy door you soft, whiny, soapdodging weedgie ****.
 
aguero93:20 said:
Get some string and a heavy door you soft, whiny, soapdodging weedgie ****.
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Yep. His hands might be soft but he has other issues. Here’s a letter MP got a while back:

ohqlvn.jpg
 
aguero93:20 said:
Get some string and a heavy door you soft, whiny, soapdodging weedgie ****.
Click to expand...

That’s the kind of bedside manner all too sadly missing from today’s meducal fraternity. And Indeed, you Irish leprechaun ****, the problem is a root that wasn’t removed properly a year ago. So the old string act wouldn’t work.

Don’t you think a Scot, from the land that invented everything, wouldn’t have thought of that, If it was possible? I’m a gloriously smelling, clever clogs who would face down a lion, pain I see as a challenge.

Whiny? I won’t even give that headroom. My voice is gloriously resonate. And I never complain, unless it’s about that cheapskate bastard CEO of ours.

Good day sir.
 
Magicpole said:
That’s the kind of bedside manner all too sadly missing from today’s meducal fraternity. And Indeed, you Irish leprechaun ****, the problem is a root that wasn’t removed properly a year ago. So the old string act wouldn’t work.
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Cut it out then, soft ****.
 
aguero93:20 said:
Cut it out then, soft ****.
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What? And take a chance ruining my good looks? Modelling career tits up?
You may revel in a single digit IQ but I know that pain is truth. I have an appointment on Monday where a team of dental experts will remove it without any jags or poncy Novocaine.

I will then go for a pint. Start a fight, have a fish supper then go home.
 
Magicpole said:
What? And take a chance ruining my good looks? Modelling career tits up?
You may revel in a single digit IQ but I know that pain is truth. I have an appointment on Monday where a team of dental experts will remove it without any jags or poncy Novocaine.

I will then go for a pint. Start a fight, have a fish supper then go home.
Click to expand...
And what do you think they're going to do? Magic it out?
 
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