What do they teach 'em....

Elbow beards

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We were doing a quiz at work and one of the questions was 'what day is armistice day commemorated on?' the answer came back 'July the 4'!!!!!
What the fuck are they teaching in schools now a days?
I have 2 questions, is education getting worse* and has anyone else got some daft answers to questions they've heard
*corrected
 
Elbow beards said:
We were doing a quiz at work and one of the questions was 'what day is armistice day commemorated on?' the answer came back 'July the 4'!!!!!
What the fuck are they teaching in schools now a days?
I have 2 questions, is education getting worst and has anyone else got some daft answers to questions they've heard
Oh, the irony!
 
Not a School question as such but this is the daftest question i have ever been asked. About 10 years ago i had this mobile phone, one of those with the really shitty camera, 2 or 3 mp or something. Anyway as the screensaver/wallpaper i took a picture out of a big coffee table space book i had of Io, Jupiter's moon. Bear in mind this was a computer generated image in close up of Io with the big red spot of Jupiter in the background. Now this girl i had been seeing for just a few weeks saw this and then asks me if i took the picture myself with my phone as in pointed it at one of Jupiter's moons in the night sky. This might not sound funny to anyone but me but i burst out laughing right in her face, proper doubled up at the thick cow. She wasn't amused and we fucked it off the next day.
 
My son came home from school and said that his PE teacher said that 'of course utd are in Manchester'........i had a long chat with him about him getting his facts right much to the wifes embarrassment ......i even pointed out that seeing that geography was his second subject he should know where towns and citys are ..,......he was a cockney red !
 
crazyg said:
Elbow beards said:
We were doing a quiz at work and one of the questions was 'what day is armistice day commemorated on?' the answer came back 'July the 4'!!!!!
What the fuck are they teaching in schools now a days?
I have 2 questions, is education getting worst and has anyone else got some daft answers to questions they've heard
Oh, the irony!
Oh dear, bloody phone
 
Elbow beards said:
crazyg said:
Elbow beards said:
We were doing a quiz at work and one of the questions was 'what day is armistice day commemorated on?' the answer came back 'July the 4'!!!!!
What the fuck are they teaching in schools now a days?
I have 2 questions, is education getting worst and has anyone else got some daft answers to questions they've heard
Oh, the irony!
Oh dear, bloody phone
you will have the jobsworth grammar nazi's after you now.
 
One of the thickest things I have ever heard : went to tesco and asked for 12 large stamps. She said sorry we only sell them in books of 4. I couldn't be arsed pointing out to her how thick she was and just said ok just give me 3 books of the stamps then.
 
Here are some corkers from various TV & radio shows:

BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)
Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?
Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.
Theakston: There's a clue in the title.
Contestant: Leicester.

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)
Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er. . .
Wood: It's got two syllables . . . Kor . . .
Contestant: Blimey?
Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . .
Contestant: (Silence.)
Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .
Contestant: Walked?

BBC NORFOLK
Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?
Contestant: I don't know.
White: I'll give you some clues. What do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?
Contestant: Arm.
White: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're . .?
Contestant: Strong.
White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?
Contestant: Louis.
White: Well, there we are then. So, who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?
Contestant: Frank Sinatra?

LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS)
Alex Trelinski: What's the capital of Italy?
Contestant: France.
Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.
Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.
Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?
Contestant: Sorry, I don't know.
Trelinski: Just guess a country then.
Contestant: Paris.

THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)
Anne Robinson: Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: Prison or the Conservative Party?
Contestant: The Conservative Party.

BEACON RADIO, Wolverhampton
DJ Mark: For £10, what is the nationality of the Pope?
Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)
Bamber Gascoigne: What was Gandhi's first name?
Contestant: Goosey?

GWR FM, Bristol
Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?
Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.

RTE RADIO 2FM, Ireland
Presenter: What is the name of the long-running TV comedy show about pensioners: Last Of The. .?
Caller: Mohicans.

RICHARD AND JUDY (C4))
Q: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?
A: Forrest Gump.

LINCS FM PHONE-IN
Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant: Barcelona.
Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant: I'm sorry; I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.

NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)
Q: What is the world's largest continent?
A: The Pacific

RICHARD AND JUDY (C4))
Presenter: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?
Contestant: Er. . .
Presenter: He makes bread. . .
Contestant: Err...
Presenter: He makes cakes . .
Contestant: Kipling Street?


THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)
Steve Le Fevre: What was signed to bring World War I to an end in 1918?
Contestant: Magna Carta?

BREAKFAST SHOW (RADIO 1)
Chris Moyles: Which 's' is a kind of whale that can grow up to 80 tonnes?
Contestant: Ummm. . .
Moyles: It begins with 's' and rhymes with 'perm'.
Contestant: Shark.

JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)
O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?
Contestant: Well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth. . . er . . . Three?

CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL)
Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
Caller: Japan.
Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.
Caller: Er . . . Mexico?

PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE)
Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.


DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)
Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant: Holland?
Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?
Contestant: No.

THE VAULT (ITV)
Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
Contestant: Nostalgia.

STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (RADIO 2)
Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loincloth did he play?
Contestant: Jesus

NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)
Eamonn Holmes: Dizzy Gillespie is famous for playing what?
Contestant: Basketball.

DOG EAT DOG (BBC1)
Ulrika Jonsson: Who wrote Lord Of The Rings?
Contestant: Enid Blyton.

NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)
Eamonn Holmes: There are three states of matter: solid, liquid and . . ?
Contestant: Jelly.

FORT BOYARD (CHALLENGE TV)
Jodie Marsh: Arrange these two groups of letters to form a word - CHED and PIT.
Team: Chedpit.

SIMPLY THE BEST (ITV)
Phil Tufnell: How many Olympic Games have been held?
Contestant: Six.
Tufnell: Higher!
Contestant: Five.

NOTTS AND CROSSES QUIZ (BBC RADIO NOTTINGHAM)
Jeff Owen: In which country is Mount Everest?
Contestant (long pause): Er, it's not in Scotland, is it?

THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)
Anne Robinson: In traffic, what 'j' is where two roads meet?
Contestant: Jool carriageway?

QUIZMANIA (ITV)
Greg Scott: We're looking for an occupation beginning with T.
Contestant: Doctor.
Scott: No, it's 'T'. 'T' for Tommy. 'T' for Tango.
Contestant: Oh, (pause) Doctor.

BIG QUIZ (LBC)
Gary King: Name the funny men who once entertained kings and queens at court.
Contestant: Lepers.

DANNY KELLY SHOW (RADIO WM)
Kelly: Which French Mediterranean town hosts a famous film festival every year?
Contestant: I need a clue.
Kelly: OK. What do beans come in?
Contestant: Cartons?

TALKSPORT
Andy Townsend: How many wheels does a tricycle have?
Caller: Two.

Townsend: The Beatles were known as the Fab...?
Caller: Five.

MAGIC 52 (NORTH-EAST ENGLAND)
Presenter: In what year was President Kennedy assassinated?
Contestant: Erm...
Presenter: Well, let's put it this way - he didn't see 1964.
Contestant: 1965?

WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE? (ITV)
Chris Tarrant (asking the audience): 'Jambon' is the French for which food?
11 per cent of the audience: Jam.

DAVE LEE TRAVIS SHOW (BREEZE FM)
DLT: In which European country are there people called Walloons?
Contestant: Wales.

JANICE FORSYTH SHOW (BBC RADIO SCOTLAND)
Forsyth: What is India's currency?
Contestant: Ramadan.

OWEN MONEY SHOW (BBC RADIO WALES)
Money: In 30 seconds, name as many well-known politicians as you can.
Caller: Er. . . Tony Brown. . . and Nigel Benn. (Silence.)
 

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