What do you look for in an ideal pub?

Nothing but good beer, real ale or lager, not fussed, a chatty bar bloke/ woman with a knowledge of what they serve, comfy chairs and a fire. As long as the fire is lit but not right next to where I'm sitting.
 
At least 6 real ales. Easy public transport links. Reasonably priced. Good clean toilets.
No tracksuits, lycre wearing cyclists or hoorah henrys.
Crisps and pork scratching.
Knowledgeable bar staff and friendly.
No dogs, cats, kids or lager drinkers.
Gin, gin and more gin.
 
Guinness on tap is usually a sign of a good pub. If I see that, and a bar staff member who actually wants to serve you, then I know Im in a proper boozer
 

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