What do you look for in an ideal pub?

[BimboBob]

2 1/8" glory holes.

Just 2 very small holes?

 

[Barcon]

Just 2 very small holes?

Strange request but sure, why not?


I'll bring my own hole.

 

[BimboBob]

Strange request but sure, why not?


I'll bring my own hole.

Is that for fisting?

 

[toolah1511]

Waaaa?

No Middle class twats

 

[tiggsywiggsywoo]

Comfort and a good selection of foreign beer.

 

[shemnel]

Orange neon signs with the prices scrawled in with felt tip
Gobby students asking for a discount
Banks and banks of epilepsy inducing fruit machines
A menu so generic you feel like staying in and eating stuff from Heron Foods while crying would be better option
That old bird who used to be married to the guy who got 10 years for bottling a child keeps asking for a threesome

Cracking days.

 

[Xiphos]

Near enough to walk to and from
Several different beers on tap, including dark mild but only one type of lager.
Spittoons
Sawdust
Dogs allowed
An atmosphere so thick with tobacco smoke you can't see from one end of the bar to the other.
No food other than crisps and pickled eggs.
No music
No kids

Sounds great with one exception, crisps and pickled eggs are fine but i would want cold meat pies on a beer tray on the bar priced at 50pence a pie, oh and a jar of Colemans mustard next to them with a knife that hasn't been cleaned all week :)

 

[denislawsbackheel]

Now you're going for that gourmet fine dining crap aren't you?

 

[stonerblue]

Crack, Jukebox, pool table, garden. shoplifter, cans, flat roof, rizzla, tits.

 

[Two Gun Bob]

I seek the traditional. Nothing else will do.
A Twilght Ale House steeped in days of yore.
A Slate bed floor and an accompaniment of crackling log fires.
Real Ales of all descriptors plying for our attention under heavy oaken beamS.
Bartender .. .. serve me a gill of your finest Hoptimus Prime and the good lady shall succum to a flaggon of Old'e Leghumpers rustic Porter.
Enriched with a splash of English Folk and if it pleasath casting out its arm to warm of the soul and steady the hand.

I know of one such hostielry but sometimes just sometimes things are best left to lie.
Stay on the path don't stray from that road.