What is the closest you've ever been to a wild Baboon ?

I let my sisters new puppy sit on my shoulder once and it started humping the side of my head.
It would have “entered”, my ear if I didn’t backhand it.
 
About 8 feet! Whilst serving in the New Territories in Hong Kong , I got called to inspect what the Local controller thought was a pile of rags by the runway. I got out of the Land Rover and as I approached the ‘pile of rags’ ( not the red scarf wearing type of rag!) stood up and screeched at me. The f***er was quite a size and definitely looked like a baboon or some kind of ape. At this point I would like to say my training kicked in and I dropped the f***er …. But with the anonymity of Bluemoon I will confess that I shat myself and ran back to the Land Rover. Driving the vehicle towards the primate didn’t phase it either. The fire section was called and they steered towards the hills with the help of a water canon.
 

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