neely8
Well-Known Member
What's the difference between a porn star and a philidomide?
One has a cock like a baby's arm and the other.....
that's a ban surely
One has a cock like a baby's arm and the other.....
that's a ban surely
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
Whats your best Joke!?!?
- Thread starter Lmg1002
- Start date
johnmc
Well-Known Member
mekonmcfc said:me and my 6 year old son laugh at this everytime we say it
knock knock
who's there ?
i need ap
i need ap who?
go and do it then !!!
class, we made it up
You most certainly did not make that up - i did
Llewellyn Dowd
Well-Known Member
Towel Joke
An old man marries a young woman and they are deeply in love. However, no
matter what the husband does sexually, the woman never achieves an orgasm,
so they decide to ask a sex therapist for advice.
The therapist listens to their story, and makes the following suggestion.
"Hire a strapping young man, and while the two of you are making love, have
the young man wave a towel over you, as though he is fanning you both. Make
sure he is totally naked and she can see his manhood as he fans you both
with the towel. That will help your wife fantasize, and should bring on a
full-blown orgasm."
They go home and follow the therapist's advice. They hire a handsome young
man, he strips off and enthusiastically waves a towel over them both as
they make love. But it doesn't help and still the wife is unsatisfied and
frustrated.
Perplexed, they go back to the therapist. "Okay", he says, "let's try it
reversed. Have the young man make love to your wife, and you wave the towel
over them."
Once again, they follow the advice. The young man gets into bed with the
wife and the husband waves the towel. The hired hand really works with great
enthusiasm and the wife soon has an enormous, room-shaking, screaming
orgasm.
Smiling, the husband drops the towel, taps the young man on the shoulder
and says to him, triumphantly:
THAT'S how you wave a fucking towel, son!!"
An old man marries a young woman and they are deeply in love. However, no
matter what the husband does sexually, the woman never achieves an orgasm,
so they decide to ask a sex therapist for advice.
The therapist listens to their story, and makes the following suggestion.
"Hire a strapping young man, and while the two of you are making love, have
the young man wave a towel over you, as though he is fanning you both. Make
sure he is totally naked and she can see his manhood as he fans you both
with the towel. That will help your wife fantasize, and should bring on a
full-blown orgasm."
They go home and follow the therapist's advice. They hire a handsome young
man, he strips off and enthusiastically waves a towel over them both as
they make love. But it doesn't help and still the wife is unsatisfied and
frustrated.
Perplexed, they go back to the therapist. "Okay", he says, "let's try it
reversed. Have the young man make love to your wife, and you wave the towel
over them."
Once again, they follow the advice. The young man gets into bed with the
wife and the husband waves the towel. The hired hand really works with great
enthusiasm and the wife soon has an enormous, room-shaking, screaming
orgasm.
Smiling, the husband drops the towel, taps the young man on the shoulder
and says to him, triumphantly:
THAT'S how you wave a fucking towel, son!!"
neely8
Well-Known Member
SCAM ALERT...............
At Tesco, while packing shopping in your car, you may be approached by two fit 18 year old Eastern European girls in tight, tiny tops.
They wash your windscreen with their tits out and ask for a lift to the next store as payment.
On the way, they strip and go down on each other. Then one climbs in the front and sucks you off while the other one nicks your wallet!
I had mine stolen last Tuesday, Wednesday, twice on Thursday and again today.
BE CAREFUL!
At Tesco, while packing shopping in your car, you may be approached by two fit 18 year old Eastern European girls in tight, tiny tops.
They wash your windscreen with their tits out and ask for a lift to the next store as payment.
On the way, they strip and go down on each other. Then one climbs in the front and sucks you off while the other one nicks your wallet!
I had mine stolen last Tuesday, Wednesday, twice on Thursday and again today.
BE CAREFUL!
the kippax wall
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 19 Mar 2009
- Messages
- 628
Two peanuts walking down the road,
One was assaulted !
One was assaulted !
jimharri
Moderator
Where's Paul and his bathroom when you need him?mekonmcfc said:me and my 6 year old son laugh at this everytime we say it
knock knock
who's there ?
i need ap
i need ap who?
go and do it then !!!
class, we made it up
johnmc
Well-Known Member
Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangaroot
One is a marsupial the other is a geordie stuck in a lift
One is a marsupial the other is a geordie stuck in a lift
burning blue soul
Well-Known Member
guy lay in a hospital bed with an oxygen mask on his face. a nurse walks in to sponge his hands and feet.
mumbling from behind his mask he says "nurse, are my testicles black?". embarrassed, the nurse says "i dont know, im here to wash your hands and feet".
struggling through the mask, he asks again, "are my testicles black?". sheepishly she pulls back the sheets, raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other and takes a close look and says "theres nothing wrong with them"
finally, the lad pulls off the oxygen mask and says "that was very nice, but are... my.. test... results.. back?"
mumbling from behind his mask he says "nurse, are my testicles black?". embarrassed, the nurse says "i dont know, im here to wash your hands and feet".
struggling through the mask, he asks again, "are my testicles black?". sheepishly she pulls back the sheets, raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other and takes a close look and says "theres nothing wrong with them"
finally, the lad pulls off the oxygen mask and says "that was very nice, but are... my.. test... results.. back?"
Chev Chelios
Well-Known Member
A devout nun goes to her local G.P feeling sick and is shocked when the doctor tells her she's pregnant. The following day, the knocked ~ up lady of god storms into the monastery where the monks live and shouts "Right then -Which of you dirty bastards has been masturbating on the candles?"