Your England team talk!

[kinkladze:-)]

John Barnes is on Soccer Am as he is promoting a competition for a fan to give a genuine England teamtalk prior to a game.

If i won mine would be something like this:

"Right then lads, the nation is looking at you and expects the World Cup to come home this summer. Oi, Terry, stop texting your next tart while i'm talking you fucking bog brush. Anyway, we are going to play a 4-4-2, no David, there is no place in the starting line up for you, and if you keep bleating you cockeney twat i will give you a pissing hairdryer myself!"

Sparks fag up, opens can of lager

"I recently played this team on FIFA, piss easy, so Shrek if you don't score at least 10, i'm going to personally drag your arse to a mirror and shave that shite beard off with a fucking blunt blade, understood? Wio, give that armband to the boy Sweep, Barry your playing up-front.....don't worry mate, it works on the XBOX!"

Group huddle, squeezing in next to Cole

"Cashley, give me Tweedy's number, i've heard she is well worth a squirt!"

Thats my offering, let's her some of yours...........

 

[kinkladze:-)]

pmsl that's the ticket, stripped to basics!

 

[Lucky Toma]

Im Welsh so - assuming I've picked the team - it would be.........

'Right, any chance you get lump it up to big Carlton Cole. If the long-ball isnt on pass it to Phil Neville who'll be our creative outlet'.

 

[Timmmmahhhh]

Im Welsh

My condolences!!

 

[Bluemoon115]

"Your all shit overpaid wankers who can barely play the game.

I've said who's playing, sort out the positions for yourselves, I'm off to put a bet on the opposition, you useless set of cunts."

Truly inspiring stuff if I say so myself.

 

[mat]

Becks - Take every opportunity to get on tele/photographed

Terry - Leave the fucking tea lady alone!!!!

Weoo - Should your eyes be bulging like that; and whats thats white mark under your nostril....?

Sweep - Keep the bench warm.

Rooney - If your gonna stamp on the opposition players don't do it in front of the Ref again.

Harty - What can i say. You've played out of your skin this season but i need to see if Ben Foster can cut it.

A. Cole - Is that your phone ringing?

Stevie G - Let Lennon put on whatever pre match CD he likes.

Lamps - Ask your uncle what odds he's got for a 3-1 win to Angola.


Remember Boys YOU are Engerland, no matter what the fans,press, opposition throw at you you will be picked purely on how much money we can make on your named shirt. Now go out and play!!!!

 

[bluemanc]

Don't lose by to many,see you all later.

 

[davymcfc]

this isnt a jokey response. i would tell them that it means everything to the whole nation. i would come out with a proper english speach and get them really hyped up for the game. something i believe none of the foreign mangers would be able to do.

 

[kinkladze:-)]

this isnt a jokey response. i would tell them that it means everything to the whole nation. i would come out with a proper english speach and get them really hyped up for the game. something i believe none of the foreign mangers would be able to do.

Dave are you Mike Bassett???? Joking aside......lets hear your speech.

 

[davymcfc]

this isnt a jokey response. i would tell them that it means everything to the whole nation. i would come out with a proper english speach and get them really hyped up for the game. something i believe none of the foreign mangers would be able to do.

Dave are you Mike Bassett???? Joking aside......lets hear your speech.

i will prepare it just for you kinky<br /><br />-- Sat Mar 13, 2010 6:57 pm --<br /><br />"many men have tried and failed. do you want to be like them? do you want to be crying on the pitch at the end of this match? you have practised every minute of your life to get us here today so lets not throw this opportunity away. think about all the times we have been cheated out of these tornaments in the past. maradonna, sol campbells disallowed goals, ronaldo getting rooney sent off. every other nation hates us. so lets show them what we are FUCKING made of. (spits with passion). everyone is back home watching you, they are dreaming that you will bring that world cup home. today you can all live that dream. what every you do, make sure you dont look back on today and think about what could have been. give it everything you have. turn a 50-50 to a 60-40. there are many that fight for our nation, if you show that you share there passion for our country then you WILL win this. do england and st george proud. i believe you can do this! so come on lads GET FUCKING STUCK IN!!!!!!!"
warghhhhhhhhh the team applaud and wipe away patriotic tears. england go on to beat argentina 3-0 in the final with shaun wright phillips, gareth barry and lescott with the goals. hart with a vital penalty save at 0-0.

 

[tommytheblue]

it's simple, the john barnes rap!

You’ve got to hold and give
But do it at the right time
You can be slow or fast
But you must get to the line
They’ll always hit you and hurt you
Defend and attack
Theres only one way to beat them
Get round the back
Catch me if you can
Cos’ I’m the England man
And what you’re looking at
Is the master plan
We ain’t no hooligans
This ain’t a football song
Three lions on my chest
I know we can’t go wrong

 

[Wolfy]

Score more than 10, because I will murder one of you if you don't. I'm not saying who, but lets say I'm gonna make you bleed. - Whilst looking at Rooney.

Then cheerily leave.

 

[kinkladze:-)]

Dave are you Mike Bassett???? Joking aside......lets hear your speech.

i will prepare it just for you kinky

-- Sat Mar 13, 2010 6:57 pm --

"many men have tried and failed. do you want to be like them? do you want to be crying on the pitch at the end of this match? you have practised every minute of your life to get us here today so lets not throw this opportunity away. think about all the times we have been cheated out of these tornaments in the past. maradonna, sol campbells disallowed goals, ronaldo getting rooney sent off. every other nation hates us. so lets show them what we are FUCKING made of. (spits with passion). everyone is back home watching you, they are dreaming that you will bring that world cup home. today you can all live that dream. what every you do, make sure you dont look back on today and think about what could have been. give it everything you have. turn a 50-50 to a 60-40. there are many that fight for our nation, if you show that you share there passion for our country then you WILL win this. do england and st george proud. i believe you can do this! so come on lads GET FUCKING STUCK IN!!!!!!!"
warghhhhhhhhh the team applaud and wipe away patriotic tears. england go on to beat argentina 3-0 in the final with shaun wright phillips, gareth barry and lescott with the goals. hart with a vital penalty save at 0-0.

I'm right there mate, top post