CL emotional rehabilitation centre now open for anyone feeling anxiety

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Magicpole, 13 Sep 2017.

  1. Magicpole

    Magicpole

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    I have taken it upon myself, as a veteran of many disastrous CL campaigns, to provide counselling and support to anyone who may need it.

    I understand that you do not face the same prospect of abject failure, but, you want to win it and that in itself is a recipe for turmoil, if you make a right roaring arse of it.

    I am self medicating right now after being emotionally raped by PSG with thoughts of Autumn walks, a country pub with rosy cheeked yokels marvelling at my style, wit and sophistication. A hot meal sat beside the fire and a beautiful woman opposite in a short skirt with restless, ever crossing legs.

    I am willing to pass on my knowledge of creating a safe happy place in our mind palaces.

    I should be on the fucking telly.

    Magic Counselling is a post away.

    Bring your football fears and I will unmask them for the frauds they are.

    Or tell you you're fucked.
     
  2. dronefromsector7G

    dronefromsector7G

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    Standing on a fine line, between this and that
    I am boosted by the fact we won't get whacked 5-0 tonight
     
  3. Magicpole

    Magicpole

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    And so you should be. I think anxiety for Blues will come later.

    But it will come.

    Remember these feelings of confidence and draw upon them when things go tits up.
     
  4. Fred_Quimby

    Fred_Quimby

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    I am like Real Madrid -
    but I have no Joy. Tried the French way but still to old. What should I do.=?
     
  5. Magicpole

    Magicpole

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    Have you considered a right good drink?

    I find increasingly as I get older, that I often fantasise more about being another thing. Which in my case is perfectly rationale due to my personality. You seem to be caught between conflicting forces.

    It is not for me to tell you what to do, but rather, you who needs to examine the reasons you feel as you do.

    If that fails get drunk, smash up the house and that will focus the mind on tangible problems, especially if you have a missus like mine.
     
  6. mat

    mat

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    Is the French way anal?
     
  7. Fred_Quimby

    Fred_Quimby

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    Great advice MP started this afternoon and now don't give a f...
     
  8. urban genie

    urban genie

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    @Magicpole was it you on the pitch chasing Mbappe? Is this counselling part of your community service for said offence?
     
  9. Dave Ewing's Back 'eader

    Dave Ewing's Back 'eader

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    I'm hedging my bets. I've one eye on the tv and one eye on the free BT stream. The telly visuals are about twenty or thirty seconds ahead of the laptop, so if we concede on the telly, someone might get across and put it behind when it's going goal bound on the stream.
     
  10. Magicpole

    Magicpole

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    I have been advised by counsel not to answer your question. Although, if you ever find yourself having to carry out community service for a crime you probably committed, see it as an opportunity to give something back. Attonement is character building, plus it's better than going to the big house.
     

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