Chortle.dick slexia said:Well this might give you a laugh,
Years ago I went for a job at the old British Telecom, I sat the English test and the maths test and felt I had done pretty well then I went before three people for an interview and again I thought it went ok, the final thing they asked me was to wire up a bell with a battery and a bell push like you have on the front door and when you push the bell push the bell would ring. Simple you might think as I did ( I had served my apprenticeship as an instrument engineer). Anyway I don't know what happened as I had a complete mental block and pissed around trying to get the bell to ring, it either rang all the time very loudly or didn't work at all,I was getting more and more flustered and kept cocking it up, finally I wired it up so the insulation on the wires started to melt and the whole room was filled with acrid smelling smoke. One of the interviewers then put me out of my misery and said that they had seen enough as he rushed to disconnect the battery and open the window. I was embarrassed to fuck as I mumbled something inane and left with my tail between my legs.
As soon as I left the room It came to me of how I should have done it.
Surprisingly I never got the job.
So basically you're such a loser, that even when you actually try to fail, you don't even succeed?BimboBob said:A few years ago when the threat of redundancy came up in my old work place a group of us were told to reapply for our jobs, the best 5 would be kept and the rest would be given redundancy. Now, I wanted redundancy, but I had to be interviewed first and come 6th before they would give it to me. Unfortunately I knew that I was in the top 5, I had already been told that they wanted to keep me. Which was a bit of a pisser. So I hatched a plan.
I watched with glee as some of the other candidates turned up suited and booted (the interviews were held in my work place) as I continued to cover myself in as much dirt as possible. Soon it was my turn and I bound into the interview room with a look of manic glee on my face. I then gave the worst interview I had ever given. I answer questions with questions. I laughed loudly at the wrong pauses. I fidgeted. I looked out of the window. I refused to answer a question.
It went well. I even winked as I left the office.
2 hours later I was summoned to my senior managers office and asked what the fuck was going on. When I explained that redundancy suited me down to the ground thank you very much and 12 years money would be spent very wisely in the pub at lunchtimes he told me not to be such a fucking idiot and gave me the fucking job.
The bastard.