JOKES, ANYONE?? (again).

[Blue Smarties]

Might not work very well written out, but fuck it.


What time does Andy Murray go to bed.


10ish.

booo get outta ere!

 

[NPBlue]

Little Johnny shouts out in class

'Scuse me Miss, but can I light a cigarette?'

'Good heavens no, Johnny, do you want to get me into trouble?'

'Nah miss, I'd rather smoke a cigarette!'

 

[Robinhosthumb!]

A woman goes to her boyfriends parents house for dinner, this is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and tuck into the meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thank's to her nervousness and the bean casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eye's water. Left with no other choice she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart. IT wasn't loud but everyone at the table heard the little pooof. Before she even had chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriends father looked over at the dog snoozing under the womans chair and said in a stern voice,"BRUNO!". The woman relieved thought,"This is great!"and a big smile came across her face. A couple of minutes later she began to feel the pain again. This time she didn't hesitate she let out a much louder and longer rriiiiiP!. Again the father looked at the dog and shouted,"BRUNO"!. Once again the woman smiled and thought,"Yes". A few minutes later she had to let off another, this time she didn't even think about it RRRRIIIIIIIIPP!!! sounded like she was about to take off. Once again, the father looked at the dog in disgust and yelled,"For christ's sake BRUNO!,get from under her before she shits on you!".