United thread 2020/21

[Cellarite]

Has anyone got that clip of us playing in the corner at Old Trafford? I can’t find it on YouTube.

 

[Big Swifty]

You should be Bard.

I have been.

...from several pubs

 

[NZBlue]

Has anyone got that clip of us playing in the corner at Old Trafford? I can’t find it on YouTube.

 

[mat]

Manchester United are pleased to announce PiGMOL as their official matchday partner for the Premier League 2021/2022 season.

Mike Reilly, head of PiGMOL said it was a dream come true to partner his organisation with the worlds greatest club.

This groundbreaking deal guarantees the premier league title aided by PiGMOL representatives and their VAR technology.

CEO of the EPL Richard Masters released a statement congratulating Manchester United on their new sponsorship partner, and recognises the symbiotic relationship between a succesful Manchester United and increased Premier League revenue streams.

 

[Cellarite]

Quality - thanks blue.

A Hull City fan was questioning why England headed for the corner in the closing stages the other night and said it was one of his pet hates. I said if done well on the right occasion, it could be a thing of beauty. I suspect this may win him over.

 

[Protein Junkie]

New signing for the rags to go with Jaded Sancho.

 

[Mad Eyed Screamer]

There was a young winger named Ryan
Keeping out of the news he was tryin'
But his girlfriend he fought
And he landed in court
And Wales manager no more, so is cryin'

 

[Mad Eyed Screamer]

There was a young chairman called Martin
The meat his dad sold had kids fartin'
What was he up to
When he peeked in the loo?
And the women inside, she was smartin'

 

[Mad Eyed Screamer]

There was a Frenchman called Pogba
Who the media portrayed as a star
Rags thought he was fab
When doing the dab
But winning trophies? He was far

 

[mexico1970]

There one was a fella called Beckham
Who always talked out of his rectum
His wife looked quite nice
If you were high on old spice
Thin enough to play her like a plectrum

 

[Kippax77]

Haha brilliant.
Take the piss, take the piss, take the piss.
Even funnier Sterling claiming for a corner when Kev smashes it out

 

[Tanzeylee]

Pure shithousery and a thing of beauty love it.

 

[Cellarite]

Haha brilliant.
Take the piss, take the piss, take the piss.
Even funnier Sterling claiming for a corner when Kev smashes it out

Bernardo's run into the box, 180 turn and run back to the corner flag is my personal highlight.

 

[Blue Mist]

There was a team called the scum
Everyone hated them
This doesn't rhyme
But who gives fuck
Cos their shit and I ain't lying

 

[BlueTG]

There was a young winger named Sancho
Couldn’t hit a cows arse with a banjo
His skills he did hone
From the great Mr Jones
Now hits the deck, legs akimbo

 

[FromPollockToSilva]

There once was a goalkeeping llama
From the same country as Palma
His dream move was halted
When a fax machine faulted
He's stuck at the Swamp now that's karma

 

[birch villa]

There was a team called the scum
Everyone hated them
This doesn't rhyme
But who gives fuck
Cos their shit and I ain't lying

Poetic genius

 

[mat]

There was a team called the scum
Everyone hated them
This doesn't rhyme
But who gives fuck
Cos their shit and I ain't lying

Almost a Haiku

 

[Plays By Sense Of Smell]

There was an old pisscan from Govan
Whose car stank like a Dutch oven
His turtle-head farts and touching-cloth sharts
Made him more of a knob than Mclovin'

 

[Blue Mist]

Almost a Haiku

Actuakly almost 2 :-)