United Thread - 2021/22

[Platt Lane veteran]

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Known as “The Uwe Rosler gap”.

 

[55yr old teenager]

look up the definition of irrelevant and their name will appear

Just got back from hols in Spain. Met a nice Norwegan couple. He asked us where we were from. When I told him Manchester he asked who I supported, I told him City then told him I hated LiVARpool. After chatting about us possibly getting Haaland, and how bad united were his response was that they were irrelevant at the moment. I said that hopefully they will remain irrelevant for a long long time.

 

[Vicmeldrew666]

In their last 6 league games 5 points from a possible 18.
Tent peg really has his work cut out with that utter shambles.
Has no clue as to the complete shitstorm he is letting himself in for.
I have no sympathy for him.

 

[city2]

Didn’t think this thread was still active, thought we only covered teams of any reverlance

 

[Beswick Prize Bands Big Drum]

Didn’t think this thread was still active, thought we only covered teams of any reverlance

Never ever stop taking the piss out of the rags.

 

[Ted_Bovis]

Hi guys.
I am an aspiring poet I hope to make my way into the big time, maybe one of them Saturday night slots, Britain's Got Talent ?
Anyway here's my offering to ITV
Fuck em all
Fuck em all
The long the short and the tall
If you see any red shit
Then fuckin' well boot it
Come on the lads fuck em all.

You’re through to the next round

(Unlike the rags)

 

[FightLikeAGirl]

Didn’t think this thread was still active, thought we only covered teams of any reverlance

But United are the gift that keep on giving!

 

[Bill the Blue]

I'm off for a few beers with 3 rags tomorrow, (me and 3 rags ffs, I won't let the team down, promise) do I talk football or do I need to be diplomatic and bang in about kids and holidays?

I know the answer but just need a second opinion..

 

[Brightwell Bros.]

But United are the gift that keep on giving!

With that sort of attitude you could be an agent for one of their players in no time.

 

[Nellies left peg]

With that sort of attitude you could be an agent for one of their players in no time.

Luckily enough there is a vacancy for someone to take the rags to the cleaners.

 

[Nellies left peg]

I'm off for a few beers with 3 rags tomorrow, (me and 3 rags ffs, I won't let the team down, promise) do I talk football or do I need to be diplomatic and bang in about kids and holidays?

I know the answer but just need a second opinion..

You'll have to bring up the subject very sensitively as they will have lost interest in football as money has ruined it and its just not the same anymore bless them, whilst gently reminding them how much they spunk a week on the prancing showpony and how high their wage bill is considering they are 28 points behind us. Ask them if they can spell irrelevant

 

[remember arthur mann]

I'm off for a few beers with 3 rags tomorrow, (me and 3 rags ffs, I won't let the team down, promise) do I talk football or do I need to be diplomatic and bang in about kids and holidays?

I know the answer but just need a second opinion..

If they're left footers, ask them, who the fook are manure.

 

[Brightwell’s left peg]

I'm off for a few beers with 3 rags tomorrow, (me and 3 rags ffs, I won't let the team down, promise) do I talk football or do I need to be diplomatic and bang in about kids and holidays?

I know the answer but just need a second opinion..

It’s a tough one. On the one hand, it will probably hurt them if you don’t bring them up. It will reinforce their current state of irrelevance. You could maybe just talk about City and the dippers, and how thankful you are that the job at Austria is no longer available to tempt Pep away.

On the other hand, they’re owed a ton of abuse.

On reflection, take the piss at every opportunity, left, right and centre. When you’re done with doing that…do it again.

 

[KentBlue]

Show them no mercy. Every second of the time you are with them make sure to deride them, humiliate them, taunt them and provoke them.

Any second that we are not sneering and pouring scorn on these bastard mutants is a second wasted.

Give 'em Hell!

 

[J.G.Blue.]

Didn’t think this thread was still active, thought we only covered teams of any reverlance

"Reverlance" thats the sort of word my nan would use & wonder why we were all smiling, (I think she did it on purpose)

 

[remember arthur mann]

Show them no mercy. Every second of the time you are with them make sure to deride them, humiliate them, taunt them and provoke them.

Any second that we are not sneering and pouring scorn on these bastard mutants is a second wasted.

Give 'em Hell!

We know they'll be fair and sensitive but if they go on a winning streak, they'll resume to first rate tawts !

 

[yeseye]

"Reverlance" thats the sort of word my nan would use & wonder why we were all smiling, (I think she did it on purpose)

That’s .

 

[Blue Mist]

I'm off for a few beers with 3 rags tomorrow, (me and 3 rags ffs, I won't let the team down, promise) do I talk football or do I need to be diplomatic and bang in about kids and holidays?

I know the answer but just need a second opinion..

You can talk about kids and football. Neither have any relevance to your rag mates

 

[burning blue soul]

I'm off for a few beers with 3 rags tomorrow, (me and 3 rags ffs, I won't let the team down, promise) do I talk football or do I need to be diplomatic and bang in about kids and holidays?

I know the answer but just need a second opinion..

Don't crow at them in their desperate hours. It does no good to gloat. Just be very, very, very condescending.
"Oh, unlucky..it was on his wrong foot"
"He's not been that bad, you should stick with him"
"Lots of positives to taken from that performance, though"
"Zebra print is 100% coming back in style"
"It's all about regrouping for the title challenge next season"
"The Austria job will actually help him in identifying new players for Utd"

There's a million of them.

 

[East Level 2]

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Tis a sign I tell thee.
28th April was a Thursday.
Only relevant if they don't slip to 8th.