Vasectomy

1 1

117 M34

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30 May 2010
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14,096
I'm getting the snip next week.

In proper off topic style, let's hear your horror stories.
 
The butcher that did me was talking to me about Opera as I was having my innards being pulled to the middle to be severed.*

Purchase some tight underpants in prep of the procedure.

* Apparently this is the 'newer' type of procedure as it makes only 1 insertion instead of the 'old hat' 2. Not nice all round especially having you internal organs being tugged at.

Enjoy............ :-)
 
Had mine done at a young age (long story), then had a reversal about 10 years later, didn’t work and had plums the size of melons!
 
There was a young fit girl helping out the quack who performed my major surgery, she told me to drop my strides and get up on the bed ready to have my knackers fondled by a 4 foot tall Asian bloke, lets just say it was absolutely freezing in the surgery that morning!
 
Had it done a few years back.

In short, it went like this;

After taping my nob to my belly Dr then sent my ball bag to sleep with some drugs, I think it must have been a needle but can't remember. He did warn I might feel some things going on.

He then spent about 10 mins chopping away at my ball bag and the contents. I did feel some things going on but no pain. He quarterised some bits, explaining as he did it the tubes have a knack of growing back.

He then told me that he wouldn't be stitching my sack up. Said modern technique is to just let it heel and there is less chance of infection. But to be very careful re keeping it clean and clean undercrackers etc. I think he said a few days and it should be good.

This I found alarming and when I did eventually remove the bandage there was indeed a 1 inch hole front and central in my nut sack! But as he said it did just heel up no bother.

Afterwards you have to go back with some jizz to confirm it worked.

Everyone always asks if it's made any difference and the answer is no. Same stinky jizz as before.
 
I was trying to think of how I can benefit from having my balls cut open.
I had a great idea of using chatGPT.

I got it to make a fake study on how receiving lots of blow jobs afterwards helps with the healing process. Downloaded it and sent it my wife.
Told her that I expect 3 a day to help me heal.
 
Had mine done over 30 years ago now. Went straight from work, nurse asked me to undress "No, just your pants and boxers". Sat, perched on the couch, legs dangling, still wearing jacket and tie while nurse swapped my nuts. I did think her grip on my dick was slightly firmer than it needed to be.

Driving home, started to feel a little uncomfortable so undid trouser belt, then unzipped fly. Stopped at some lights and a lorry pulled up alongside. Caught the driver looking down on me, sat there with my knob on display. I gave him the snip sign, he just winced.
 
I had mine done about 10 years ago in a truck being Stretford baths. The Dr said "you might feel a little prick" and I said "I'm not the only one". That's a lie - I didn't say that but have spent every day since wishing I had.

No horror story from me but my mate had his done and kept moaning about how painful it was. We called him a girl and told him to toughen up but the he got sepsis and nearly died. So that was fun
 
When I had mine done a fit blond nurse did the prep work taping my knob to my belly.
Whilst she was messing about doing that I was telling myself "Think football,Think football"

But it went downhill after that...

The doc gave me the local anesthetic and then proceeded to start almost immediately.
He said it might feel uncomfortable but wont actually hurt. Utter bollocks. He sliced into me and the pain was excruciating. I told him so but he didn't believe me until I think he noticed I was about to pass out.
He gave me another jab - waited a bit longer and from there on I didn't feel a thing and it was ok.

Next day feels like your recovering from a hand job off Mike Tyson but not too bad.
 
Had mine done at Stepping Hill , booked in and sat in a waiting with several other fellas all looking sorry for ourselves .
Shortly after a nurse came in and shouted my name , thought here we go only to be told that they’d overbooked and could I rearrange for another date , I explained I couldn’t due to work commitments .
Quick as a flash some guy jumped up and said don’t worry I’ll come back another day and promptly scarpered .
 
I took the cowards way out and had a general anaesthetic.

Couple of days of mild discomfort afterwards but no issues.

Having said that, I never bothered going back for the check up you’re supposed to make sure it worked.
 
After meeting my partner later in life I decided to get one booked.

I shit it in the end and didn’t go. Fuck that.
 
Bill Walker said:
I'm an absolute coward, no fucking way Jose....my balls are staying intact.
Click to expand...

LangleyBlue1970 said:
After meeting my partner later in life I decided to get one booked.

I shit it in the end and didn’t go. Fuck that.
Click to expand...
I found it quite liberating. I can now spread my jizz far and wide without consequences.

And I've had much worse trips to the dentist.

The worst bit was going back to the gp with a pot of spaf.
 
The most painful part was having the pre op and then post op examination which consisted of the doctor checking your ballbag. Don't do anything for 4 or 5 days afterwards which cause movement etc or you'll have bollocks like coconuts for a week. The actual procedure is fine.
 
Gareth Barry Conlon said:
Had it done a few years back.

In short, it went like this;

After taping my nob to my belly Dr then sent my ball bag to sleep with some drugs, I think it must have been a needle but can't remember. He did warn I might feel some things going on.

He then spent about 10 mins chopping away at my ball bag and the contents. I did feel some things going on but no pain. He quarterised some bits, explaining as he did it the tubes have a knack of growing back.

He then told me that he wouldn't be stitching my sack up. Said modern technique is to just let it heel and there is less chance of infection. But to be very careful re keeping it clean and clean undercrackers etc. I think he said a few days and it should be good.

This I found alarming and when I did eventually remove the bandage there was indeed a 1 inch hole front and central in my nut sack! But as he said it did just heel up no bother.

Afterwards you have to go back with some jizz to confirm it worked.

Everyone always asks if it's made any difference and the answer is no. Same stinky jizz as before.
Click to expand...
Similar story to mine but he taped my knob to my chest :-)
 
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