Agree with you that he wasn't deliberately trying to screw us over. I cant blame him for not seeing the handball, I didn't see it either tbh.
I partly blame the linesman for being too far behind the action and VAR, of course, for coming to completely the wrong conclusion. Incidentally, the game got a bit tetchy after the Henderson incident. It's how referees lose control of games.
The penalty you are right. I didn't think it was a penalty tbh (Silva started falling before any contact is how I saw it on a dodgy stream) but if it wasn't given onfield then VAR wouldn't have corrected, imho. Just protocol I suppose with maybe a shade of levelling up for their earlier mistake.
The offside for their second "goal" was obvious, I think. They couldn't have allowed that to stand. Not sure why it took so long.
I just don't think he is a very good referee and VAR didn't cover themselves in glory.
Btw, on losing control of the game, you could see a sense of injustice with timewasting leading to a few niggly City fouls later on. Credit to Palace for just getting on with it, or it could have turned nasty. Again, not refereeing properly can lead to some tricky stuff. What is worse for a flagship match? Applying the LOtG and having 10v11 and a few bookings for timewasting, or having two teams kicking lumps out of each other at the end?