Neighbours taking liberties....

M M

Mad Eyed Screamer

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26 Nov 2010
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Did I mention I'd been on Eggheads?
Moved house a couple of weeks ago and have this neighbour who is now fostered herself on us as our new best friend......

Can't get rid of her..... knocks on the door cadging cigs off the wife, sugar and even tin foil on Saturday!
I've seen the wife buy her packets of cigs and also the other day she was after $7 for something or other.... I was at the computer the other night, nearly midnight and she wanted 2 slices of bread!
Yesterday she asked if I could sub her $100 (around £65) to pay her lecky bill or she'll be cut off today. Said she gets ''a cheque'' on Tuesday and can pay then sent her packing saying I don't carry cash and am waiting for a cheque myself.
Asked the wife why her boyfriend doesn't give her the money and was informed ''she doesn't like asking him as he'll kick off''
At 11pm last night she asked the wife if her sister could borrow our car as she had left her purse in the all night chemist down the road. So she gives her the car, my missus goes and watches her 11 year old (and a neighbours 11 year old!) and at 1.30am the neighbour and sister haven't come back! So my wife knocks on the the other kids mum's house and says ''here's your daughter and neighbours kid, I ain't baby sitting all night!
Fuck knows what time they returned the car or where they went.....

And just now..... 6.30am (I was up) a knock on the door and she's asking can my wife take her to hospital as she's not well...... I said why not call a ambulance and got some crap reply, so i said ''the hospital in our town?'', but she preferred the one in the next town, 5 miles away as her mum used to work there so she's more comfortable there. I said I can take you but can't wait as I have stuff I can't put off this morning to the reply ''how do i get back, my kids (2 sons but dont live there) will be at work?''.
My wife comes downstairs, joins in and has now taken her.....

Complete and utter piss take.

And before anyone asks about whether she is fit or not - No. Early 50's, on meds, not right in the head etc....
 
If I could post pictures I would and it would be a picture of a doormat. I would post a picture of a soft arse but the mods would probably ban me for posting porn. ( I suppose I best put one of these :-) or I might upset you !! Come on get real she has seen you and your missus are an easy touch and is now going for it big style. Be polite but firm and say No.

After posting this I suddenly thought I had foolishly posted on a parody thread without realising so I checked and no I haven't but I think one will be coming along soon from one of the regulars.
 
Lancet Fluke said:
You haven't moved into a trailer park have you?
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About the next level up I think!<br /><br />-- Mon Jun 25, 2012 11:57 am --<br /><br />
Blue Mist said:
If I could post pictures I would and it would be a picture of a doormat. I would post a picture of a soft arse but the mods would probably ban me for posting porn. ( I suppose I best put one of these :-) or I might upset you !! Come on get real she has seen you and your missus are an easy touch and is now going for it big style. Be polite but firm and say No.
Click to expand...

I didn't know about the car and baby sitting until this morning..... wasn't happy at all, it wont be happening again on my watch .....
 
Have problems with mine. Complete fucking psycho gargoyle. Sticking her nose where it's not wanted. Can't even sit on the patio at the front without her looking through her plants on the wall. (Which she built on our land and is now complaining that we can't build a canopy to the said wall)

She's a fucking imbecile. Sweeps her front path at 1am. Someone tell me this is normal.

Oh, and Mad Eyed Screamer, shoot your neighbour. Job done.
 
My neighbour is a crazed crack taking hooker who single handedly put peacocks our of business with her shoplifting franchise. She goes on drug benders and ends up speaking nonsense in an Irish, Scottish and whatever accent ranting about how she has a brain tumour and will die in the next 3 days, she tells me she is the queens eldest child from either hitlers sperm or an imacculate conception. She is a fruitcake from openshaw who knocks on all the neighbours doors at all Hours trying to either borrow money, use the phone or sell you stuff. She has a do not disturb sign for the door when punters come round. Her latest bender leaves me thinking she needs sectioning.
 
We had a neighbour like this. She'd ask to "borrow" things such as screwdrivers, hairdryer, tampons of the missus, hair clippers, milk, cigs, the fucking lot. She knocked on once with a cup of black tea in her hand asking for a spot of milk as she didn't realise she had none when made it and thought it was a shame to waste it!

The final straw came when we returned from holiday one time and saw her hose pipe attached to our outside tap and it trailing into her back garden where she was happily filling up her kid's pool. She justified it saying that she knew we weren't on a water meter so thought it'd be alright. She'd used a pair of plyers to open the tap. I told her we weren't on an electric meter either so next time we went away, I'd lead a fucking extension out of the top window in case she fancied some of our electric.
 
nijinsky's fetlocks said:
I would have a fair idea what she wanted the tin foil for.
It must remind you of Moston.
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She actually came over with the baking tray, measured the size up, ripped it off, walked out the house and left the tray..... so then she comes back in for the tray...... took ages to get rid of her both times as she has to talk crap for ages!

The wife's just returned, dropped her off and said she had to be elsewhere for 8am.....
 
citykev28 said:
We had a neighbour like this. She'd ask to "borrow" things such as screwdrivers, hairdryer, tampons of the missus, hair clippers, milk, cigs, the fucking lot. She knocked on once with a cup of black tea in her hand asking for a spot of milk as she didn't realise she had none when made it and thought it was a shame to waste it!

The final straw came when we returned from holiday one time and saw her hose pipe attached to our outside tap and it trailing into her back garden where she was happily filling up her kid's pool. She justified it saying that she knew we weren't on a water meter so thought it'd be alright. She'd used a pair of plyers to open the tap. I told her we weren't on an electric meter either so next time we went away, I'd lead a fucking extension out of the top window in case she fancied some of our electric.
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Did she give the tampons back once she had finished with them ?
 
Mad Eyed Screamer said:
nijinsky's fetlocks said:
I would have a fair idea what she wanted the tin foil for.
It must remind you of Moston.
Click to expand...

She actually came over with the baking tray, measured the size up, ripped it off, walked out the house and left the tray..... so then she comes back in for the tray...... took ages to get rid of her both times as she has to talk crap for ages!

The wife's just returned, dropped her off and said she had to be elsewhere for 8am.....
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This has actually made me laugh like fuck.
 
There is no way i would let any fucker use my car if i lived in the States, i have watched "cops", they find anything in your car that she may have left in there, you are off to the big house and nights of cuddling Bubba.

Get all Manc on her and tell her to fuck off!! Cheeky cow.
 
citykev28 said:
We had a neighbour like this. She'd ask to "borrow" things such as screwdrivers, hairdryer, tampons of the missus, hair clippers, milk, cigs, the fucking lot. She knocked on once with a cup of black tea in her hand asking for a spot of milk as she didn't realise she had none when made it and thought it was a shame to waste it!
.
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You just reminded me! The other day she's in here, mithering, and goes to the toilet, shouts down something, and the wife says ''what, there's no toilet paper? Yes there is in a packet to your left'' and she shouts down, ''no, I need a women's thing''.

It's just one continuous episode of Shameless......
 
Mad Eyed Screamer said:
citykev28 said:
We had a neighbour like this. She'd ask to "borrow" things such as screwdrivers, hairdryer, tampons of the missus, hair clippers, milk, cigs, the fucking lot. She knocked on once with a cup of black tea in her hand asking for a spot of milk as she didn't realise she had none when made it and thought it was a shame to waste it!
.
Click to expand...

You just reminded me! The other day she's in here, mithering, and goes to the toilet, shouts down something, and the wife says ''what, there's no toilet paper? Yes there is in a packet to your left'' and she shouts down, ''no, I need a women's thing''.

It's just one continuous episode of Shameless......
Click to expand...
She will be on you next, taking liberties
 
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