Life without kids??

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RACHACE

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A bit of a spin off from the too old thread but has anybody on here decided against having children?

Do you feel fulfilled?
Was it a joint decision with your partner?
Do you regret it?

I'm in a situation where in general I've always said that I don't want to have children. On the odd occasion my missus and I have "romanticised" about the prospect but in the end always decided that they are not for us.

Been with my missus over 10 years and in that time the subject has come up id say no mote than 3-4 times and never seriously either until now.

My wife wants us to try but I'm still seeing my future without children and looking forward to it too. However, I love her to bits and want get to be happy and it's very hard to basically tell her that she won't be a mother married to me.

Bit of a dilemma but I believe that if you both don't want children then you shouldn't have them.

In her defence she's never once demanded we try but I know she's feeling sad at the moment because I'm not willing to try.

So are kids really all that?
 
Tough one. They do take the best years of your life but the joy and friendship is incredible. I think knock a few out early on get divorced and have them every other weekend and a few nights for tea midweek is utopia.
 
worsleyweb said:
Tough one. They do take the best years of your life but the joy and friendship is incredible. I think knock a few out early on get divorced and have them every other weekend and a few nights for tea midweek is utopia.
Click to expand...
I'm also living the dream :-)
Edit... Having said that feel like I missed out a lot, be great to still be taking her out places but they do grow up
 
I think its a question most people with kids ask themselves often....what did we do before we had kids etc??

Kids change you there is no doubt about that!
They cost lots of money...
They cause you stress...
I would say having kids changes almost everything you do in day to day life!!

Having said all that, I am blessed with 2 girls...My absolute bestest mates whom make me laugh and cry in equal measures (actually more crying)

Sat here hungover....whilst they both shout at each other : )
Enjoy
 
I have 3 daughters all married and I have 3 grandsons and 1 11 month old granddaughter, live without any of them would be unthinkable, yes it's tough bringing kids up but the joy they keep on giving is immeasurable.
 
I never wanted kids but somehow have ended up with 3 of them. It's hard work and not cheap but I have never regretted it. I couldn't really imagine life without them now.
 
It's never appealed to me, but that maybe due to my upbringing. Parents divorced at 7 etc.

I don't hate children, I feel as though they are on my level mentally.
 
RACHACE said:
A bit of a spin off from the too old thread but has anybody on here decided against having children?

Do you feel fulfilled?
Was it a joint decision with your partner?
Do you regret it?

I'm in a situation where in general I've always said that I don't want to have children. On the odd occasion my missus and I have "romanticised" about the prospect but in the end always decided that they are not for us.

Been with my missus over 10 years and in that time the subject has come up id say no mote than 3-4 times and never seriously either until now.

My wife wants us to try but I'm still seeing my future without children and looking forward to it too. However, I love her to bits and want get to be happy and it's very hard to basically tell her that she won't be a mother married to me.

Bit of a dilemma but I believe that if you both don't want children then you shouldn't have them.

In her defence she's never once demanded we try but I know she's feeling sad at the moment because I'm not willing to try.

So are kids really all that?
Click to expand...



does your wife want children more than you dont. if she does she will have a life of regret not having children or she may decide to find someone who wants a family.
 
I never wanted kids. Or should i say i was never bothered about having them. If my wife felt the same, we would never have had them and that wouldn't have bothered me etc.
So years went by without kids, and we were a strong couple and very close. Then my wife mentioned kids "before it was too late". We were in our mid thirties, and if we were going to do it, we had to start soon. Friends were a bit shocked when we mentioned our plans as they just assumed we weren't going down that road.

So a few months later, kid number one was on the way.
Two years kid number two.
Two years later kid number three.

So what do i think now. Well the downsides first. My wife almost changed overnight. We went from everything about "us", to everything about her and "the kids". She went from happy go lucky and attentive to moody and selfish. Everything had to be how she imagined it would be, and she wanted to make all the decisions. She was gaining weight and running out of energy. Of course this was all my fault! It was like living with another person. Too be honest, i have no idea how we have stayed together. Finally i had "enough" and planned to leave. As a last ditch resort, I asked her to see her doctor. I knew something had changed and it all couldn't be due to drifting apart. She was reluctant to go as "there's nothing wrong with me it's you". It turns out, she has been suffering a hormone imbalance due to her Thyroid. She was massively low, and it was causing all manner of other things including aggressive mood swings. Within weeks of getting on replacement therapy, she started to get better, and return to her "old" self. It's taken time, but we are getting stronger/closer.

The upsides...
Just about everything!. Seriously, i couldn't be happier.
I wasn't in to the baby stage of things, but once they were mobile, the fun really started. Every day just seemed to get better and better. Nowadays, i cannot wait to finish work and get home.
Holidays, weekends, days out are just more fun. We have three boys (now 7/9/11), and teaching them everything about life is brilliant. I didn't realise how boring life had become without kids.
We were doing the same things over and over. Holidays had become boring, but this is not the case with kids. The flash cars have gone, and holidays are now very modest. Money is tighter, but i don't really care. Ask any parent about the joy of seeing your kids faces on birthdays and Christmas. They are at the age that they are into things i used to be in to. So i get to be a big kid all over again! Yes, there are times i could scream, and the thought of being "kid less" is massively appealing! But given the choice again, my only regret about kids is not doing it sooner!
 
Was in the plan in the beginning .... but when we 'went for it', it just never happened, and we decided not to go down the route of medical help etc, but took the view, if it happens, it happens. It didn't, and neither of us are fussed about it. We have nephews and friend's kids to enjoy, without the pain bits.

Some with kids may think we are missing out, but hey, you can't miss what you haven't had ....
 
r.soleofsalford said:
does your wife want children more than you dont. if she does she will have a life of regret not having children or she may decide to find someone who wants a family.
Click to expand...

We've spoken about it at length and she doesn't just want kids. She wants our kids.

If that's not going to happen then she'd prefer a life with me than going having a family with someone else.
 
RACHACE said:
A bit of a spin off from the too old thread but has anybody on here decided against having children?

Do you feel fulfilled?
Was it a joint decision with your partner?
Do you regret it?

I'm in a situation where in general I've always said that I don't want to have children. On the odd occasion my missus and I have "romanticised" about the prospect but in the end always decided that they are not for us.

Been with my missus over 10 years and in that time the subject has come up id say no mote than 3-4 times and never seriously either until now.

My wife wants us to try but I'm still seeing my future without children and looking forward to it too. However, I love her to bits and want get to be happy and it's very hard to basically tell her that she won't be a mother married to me.

Bit of a dilemma but I believe that if you both don't want children then you shouldn't have them.

In her defence she's never once demanded we try but I know she's feeling sad at the moment because I'm not willing to try.

So are kids really all that?
Click to expand...

Hold on, you're a man?
 
MCFCTrick said:
Was in the plan in the beginning .... but when we 'went for it', it just never happened, and we decided not to go down the route of medical help etc, but took the view, if it happens, it happens. It didn't, and neither of us are fussed about it. We have nephews and friend's kids to enjoy, without the pain bits.

Some with kids may think we are missing out, but hey, you can't miss what you haven't had ....
Click to expand...

No it was never in the plan at the beginning. Everything we've done has been with us not having children in mind. For example buying a house that was slightly out of our price range if we'd have been planning for kids.
 
Th
fulabeer said:
I never wanted kids. Or should i say i was never bothered about having them. If my wife felt the same, we would never have had them and that wouldn't have bothered me etc.
So years went by without kids, and we were a strong couple and very close. Then my wife mentioned kids "before it was too late". We were in our mid thirties, and if we were going to do it, we had to start soon. Friends were a bit shocked when we mentioned our plans as they just assumed we weren't going down that road.

So a few months later, kid number one was on the way.
Two years kid number two.
Two years later kid number three.

So what do i think now. Well the downsides first. My wife almost changed overnight. We went from everything about "us", to everything about her and "the kids". She went from happy go lucky and attentive to moody and selfish. Everything had to be how she imagined it would be, and she wanted to make all the decisions. She was gaining weight and running out of energy. Of course this was all my fault! It was like living with another person. Too be honest, i have no idea how we have stayed together. Finally i had "enough" and planned to leave. As a last ditch resort, I asked her to see her doctor. I knew something had changed and it all couldn't be due to drifting apart. She was reluctant to go as "there's nothing wrong with me it's you". It turns out, she has been suffering a hormone imbalance due to her Thyroid. She was massively low, and it was causing all manner of other things including aggressive mood swings. Within weeks of getting on replacement therapy, she started to get better, and return to her "old" self. It's taken time, but we are getting stronger/closer.

The upsides...
Just about everything!. Seriously, i couldn't be happier.
I wasn't in to the baby stage of things, but once they were mobile, the fun really started. Every day just seemed to get better and better. Nowadays, i cannot wait to finish work and get home.
Holidays, weekends, days out are just more fun. We have three boys (now 7/9/11), and teaching them everything about life is brilliant. I didn't realise how boring life had become without kids.
We were doing the same things over and over. Holidays had become boring, but this is not the case with kids. The flash cars have gone, and holidays are now very modest. Money is tighter, but i don't really care. Ask any parent about the joy of seeing your kids faces on birthdays and Christmas. They are at the age that they are into things i used to be in to. So i get to be a big kid all over again! Yes, there are times i could scream, and the thought of being "kid less" is massively appealing! But given the choice again, my only regret about kids is not doing it sooner!
Click to expand...

That's a cracking post. We're in out mid thirties now and it's the now or never talk from my wife that's brought this situation up. Very similar to your situation from your post.

Very glad it all worked out for you too bud and thanks for the reply.
 
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