I never wanted kids. Or should i say i was never bothered about having them. If my wife felt the same, we would never have had them and that wouldn't have bothered me etc.
So years went by without kids, and we were a strong couple and very close. Then my wife mentioned kids "before it was too late". We were in our mid thirties, and if we were going to do it, we had to start soon. Friends were a bit shocked when we mentioned our plans as they just assumed we weren't going down that road.
So a few months later, kid number one was on the way.
Two years kid number two.
Two years later kid number three.
So what do i think now. Well the downsides first. My wife almost changed overnight. We went from everything about "us", to everything about her and "the kids". She went from happy go lucky and attentive to moody and selfish. Everything had to be how she imagined it would be, and she wanted to make all the decisions. She was gaining weight and running out of energy. Of course this was all my fault! It was like living with another person. Too be honest, i have no idea how we have stayed together. Finally i had "enough" and planned to leave. As a last ditch resort, I asked her to see her doctor. I knew something had changed and it all couldn't be due to drifting apart. She was reluctant to go as "there's nothing wrong with me it's you". It turns out, she has been suffering a hormone imbalance due to her Thyroid. She was massively low, and it was causing all manner of other things including aggressive mood swings. Within weeks of getting on replacement therapy, she started to get better, and return to her "old" self. It's taken time, but we are getting stronger/closer.
The upsides...
Just about everything!. Seriously, i couldn't be happier.
I wasn't in to the baby stage of things, but once they were mobile, the fun really started. Every day just seemed to get better and better. Nowadays, i cannot wait to finish work and get home.
Holidays, weekends, days out are just more fun. We have three boys (now 7/9/11), and teaching them everything about life is brilliant. I didn't realise how boring life had become without kids.
We were doing the same things over and over. Holidays had become boring, but this is not the case with kids. The flash cars have gone, and holidays are now very modest. Money is tighter, but i don't really care. Ask any parent about the joy of seeing your kids faces on birthdays and Christmas. They are at the age that they are into things i used to be in to. So i get to be a big kid all over again! Yes, there are times i could scream, and the thought of being "kid less" is massively appealing! But given the choice again, my only regret about kids is not doing it sooner!
So years went by without kids, and we were a strong couple and very close. Then my wife mentioned kids "before it was too late". We were in our mid thirties, and if we were going to do it, we had to start soon. Friends were a bit shocked when we mentioned our plans as they just assumed we weren't going down that road.
So a few months later, kid number one was on the way.
Two years kid number two.
Two years later kid number three.
So what do i think now. Well the downsides first. My wife almost changed overnight. We went from everything about "us", to everything about her and "the kids". She went from happy go lucky and attentive to moody and selfish. Everything had to be how she imagined it would be, and she wanted to make all the decisions. She was gaining weight and running out of energy. Of course this was all my fault! It was like living with another person. Too be honest, i have no idea how we have stayed together. Finally i had "enough" and planned to leave. As a last ditch resort, I asked her to see her doctor. I knew something had changed and it all couldn't be due to drifting apart. She was reluctant to go as "there's nothing wrong with me it's you". It turns out, she has been suffering a hormone imbalance due to her Thyroid. She was massively low, and it was causing all manner of other things including aggressive mood swings. Within weeks of getting on replacement therapy, she started to get better, and return to her "old" self. It's taken time, but we are getting stronger/closer.
The upsides...
Just about everything!. Seriously, i couldn't be happier.
I wasn't in to the baby stage of things, but once they were mobile, the fun really started. Every day just seemed to get better and better. Nowadays, i cannot wait to finish work and get home.
Holidays, weekends, days out are just more fun. We have three boys (now 7/9/11), and teaching them everything about life is brilliant. I didn't realise how boring life had become without kids.
We were doing the same things over and over. Holidays had become boring, but this is not the case with kids. The flash cars have gone, and holidays are now very modest. Money is tighter, but i don't really care. Ask any parent about the joy of seeing your kids faces on birthdays and Christmas. They are at the age that they are into things i used to be in to. So i get to be a big kid all over again! Yes, there are times i could scream, and the thought of being "kid less" is massively appealing! But given the choice again, my only regret about kids is not doing it sooner!