Top Berting - it's showtime baby!

[Enzo's Mascara]

I remember as a kid if any of my mates knocked on for a kick about my mum and dad would always welcome them in whilst I got my stuff ready to head out - one time a lad in a rag shirt was made to stay outside and wait!
Looking back they set a great example for me. One day when I have kids of my own I’ll be sure to educate them that all rags stink of shit and never bring them round our fucking house.

This has happened at our house back in the 90's and takes Berting to a new level.
My dear old mum's brother lives in Ireland and was coming over to watch the rags with his son and wanted to stay at our house. Once we all knew he was coming specifically just to go and watch his beloved utd we all agreed he was not welcome. I think he ended up in a Premier Inn or something like that :)

 

[Gesario]

This has happened at our house back in the 90's and takes Berting to a new level.
My dear old mum's brother lives in Ireland and was coming over to watch the rags with his son and wanted to stay at our house. Once we all knew he was coming specifically just to go and watch his beloved utd we all agreed he was not welcome. I think he ended up in a Premier Inn or something like that :)

Enzos Mascara !!! I love that

 

[Sky Blue Thinking]

I remember as a kid if any of my mates knocked on for a kick about my mum and dad would always welcome them in whilst I got my stuff ready to head out - one time a lad in a rag shirt was made to stay outside and wait!
Looking back they set a great example for me. One day when I have kids of my own I’ll be sure to educate them that all rags stink of shit and never bring them round our fucking house.

Hope it was raining.

 

[BTH]

"Bertie Magoo - The Bitter Blue" .
Am I correct in thinking he was a comic strip in Bert Trautmann's Helmet ??

Nope. Wasn't mine. Red Issue!
Kev Clark was the artist - someone I'd know for years ironically.
His brother John was a big City fan but I've not seen either of them in years.

 

[manclad]

Nope. Wasn't mine. Red Issue!
Kev Clark was the artist - someone I'd know for years ironically.
His brother John was a big City fan but I've not seen either of them in years.

Yes, I was corrected by other posters on this thread, just after I posted it.
As the old saying goes - " You live and learn".

 

[levets]

Nope. Wasn't mine. Red Issue!
Kev Clark was the artist - someone I'd know for years ironically.
His brother John was a big City fan but I've not seen either of them in years.

Who did ‘Dagenham Dan’ The ManU Fan? Was that you Noel?

 

[jimbobmanc]

"Onana was playing like a holding midfielder. He was in the positions of a holding midfielder. We struggled."

Pep after the champions league final June 2023…the following month the rags sign him for £47m :-)

 

[Sky Blue Thinking]

Usually have a look in the shops in the airport when going away and call in JD especially to fart on the rag shirts. Get told every time its childish.

 

[Dodge]

Just mentioned this on the KK thread because @5 Hit Gibbon mentioned Ratboys assist for the GOAT in the 3-1 home derby win.

But 3 rag Berts in one 24 hour period deserves its place in this thread.

Me and a mate came up from Leicester and treated ourselves to 2 nights at The Lowry, which we didn't know at the time, was where the rag team met and travelled from that match day.

Bert One:

Took the lift down and realised that we were in a lift with some rag players, who saw we were Blues, so there was a nervous silence. Only broken when my mate says "Canal Street tonight is it Mr O'Shea?"

Bert Two:

We were just leaving reception when we saw the team bus arrive, so thought we'd hang around. A couple of security guards were suspicious and tried to move us on. "Residents mate, we have every right to be here". One by one the bus filled up then Taggart got on. My mate approached the open coach door and shouted (to the bloke sat in the drivers seat!!) "eh up mate, are you the driver?"...."I am" he replied. "Well do me a favour, turn right at the top of the road, and drive these cunts into the fucking canal".

Bert Three:

The concierge got us VIP access to the Sugar Lounge on Deansgate Locks, so headed there about midnight, no colours, after the game. A certain Ratboy Neville was in the corner of the bar, chance of a lifetime we thought. Enthusiastically approach him, arm outstretched to shake his hand...eventually he reluctantly put his arm out, looking a bit confused..

"Just wanted to thank you Gary and express my gratitude"...."what for?" he mumbled...."for laying the goal on a plate for the GOAT this afternoon". Laughing manically in his face. Me and me mate "City...City...City"...with a few other patrons unexpectedly joining in. Ratboy fucking fuming but doing fuck all about it, the ****.

Removed within seconds.

Up the fucking Blues.

 

[Enzo's Mascara]

Just mentioned this on the KK thread because @5 Hit Gibbon mentioned Ratboys assist for the GOAT in the 3-1 home derby win.

But 3 rag Berts in one 24 hour period deserves its place in this thread.

Me and a mate came up from Leicester and treated ourselves to 2 nights at The Lowry, which we didn't know at the time, was where the rag team met and travelled from that match day.

Bert One:

Took the lift down and realised that we were in a lift with some rag players, who saw we were Blues, so there was a nervous silence. Only broken when my mate says "Canal Street tonight is it Mr O'Shea?"

Bert Two:

We were just leaving reception when we saw the team bus arrive, so thought we'd hang around. A couple of security guards were suspicious and tried to move us on. "Residents mate, we have every right to be here". One by one the bus filled up then Taggart got on. My mate approached the open coach door and shouted (to the bloke sat in the drivers seat!!) "eh up mate, are you the driver?"...."I am" he replied. "Well do me a favour, turn right at the top of the road, and drive these cunts into the fucking canal".

Bert Three:

The concierge got us VIP access to the Sugar Lounge on Deansgate Locks, so headed there about midnight, no colours, after the game. A certain Ratboy Neville was in the corner of the bar, chance of a lifetime we thought. Enthusiastically approach him, arm outstretched to shake his hand...eventually he reluctantly put his arm out, looking a bit confused..

"Just wanted to thank you Gary and express my gratitude"...."what for?" he mumbled...."for laying the goal on a plate for the GOAT this afternoon". Laughing manically in his face. Me and me mate "City...City...City"...with a few other patrons unexpectedly joining in. Ratboy fucking fuming but doing fuck all about it, the ****.

Removed within seconds.

Up the fucking Blues.

Quality Berting

 

[Enzo's Mascara]

My mate and top blue is a painter and decorator.His business partners are rags and happen to know the toe sucker. Anyway the toe sucker asked for some painting on his gaff to be done and they sent one of the lads who just happens to be a blue who wears his City shirt for work whatever the weather.

He didn’t specifically wear it because he was working at the toe suckers gaff..It's just the way he is. Oblivious Berting!
Scholes was having none of it and a quick call to one of the lads to ask him to either take it off or get him off the job.I cant have him wearing that around my house :) So he had to come off the job as there was no way he was taking his fuckin City shirt off.
My mate finished the job. Sat in the kitchen having a break Scholes asked if wanted a brew. My mate said nah it's alright I always bring my own and showed him his big fuck off City mug lol.

Revenge Berting.

 

[blubanjo]

In the airport at Barcelona after a Messi masterclass, in the security queue and up walks Gary Neville who had been commentating on the game the night before...he got a torrent of abuse from some young pissed up lads in front of us.
An hour later were sat in the lounge and got chatting to him and to be fair he was alright until my mate turned up to tell him how Goater skinned him in the derby. He took it quite well tbf.
Last Monarch flight I ever flew on.
Saw him and his family on a flight to Malaga a couple of years ago and kept my powder dry on this occasion as there is a time and a place, although I was tempted.

 

[Corky]

Who did ‘Dagenham Dan’ The ManU Fan? Was that you Noel?

That was in one of the smaller sized ones, I think it was City 'Til I Cry but could have been Chips 'n Gravy. Probably only read each of them once but remember it was a small pages.

 

[give it to gordon]

Reports of a met up and fight on the local beach. I think my boss is berting me ! Gordon aka Gary

 

[Franny 1234]

It's fucking great being regarded as a "childish ****" by 'er indoors, particularly in regards to football rivalry.
I've had those very words said to me many times over the last 45 years I've been married to her.

Never a week goes bye when my wife doesn't say exactly the same. 95% of the time it's related to my dislike of that shower of shite from Trafford.

 

[JASR]

My mate and top blue is a painter and decorator.His business partners are rags and happen to know the toe sucker. Anyway the toe sucker asked for some painting on his gaff to be done and they sent one of the lads who just happens to be a blue who wears his City shirt for work whatever the weather.

He didn’t specifically wear it because he was working at the toe suckers gaff..It's just the way he is. Oblivious Berting!
Scholes was having none of it and a quick call to one of the lads to ask him to either take it off or get him off the job.I cant have him wearing that around my house :) So he had to come off the job as there was no way he was taking his fuckin City shirt off.
My mate finished the job. Sat in the kitchen having a break Scholes asked if wanted a brew. My mate said nah it's alright I always bring my own and showed him his big fuck off City mug lol.

Revenge Berting.

Just recently had a painter (very good) at our house. I think he was a United supporter, but kept himself to himself.
Anyway the reason I said started this reply was that his worst payer was a footballer… I didn’t ask who, but I’m guessing it was United.

 

[BTH]

That was in one of the smaller sized ones, I think it was City 'Til I Cry but could have been Chips 'n Gravy. Probably only read each of them once but remember it was a small pages.

Yep. Definitely in Tom's (RIP) City 'Til I Cry.
I may have inadvertently given him the name though. We used to make them up in the car to long away games and back: Norwich and Palace etc.

 

[DiscoSteve]

So three years ago, I was involved in a Charity Sleepover in the Munich Tunnel for the Rag Foundation - it was for a good cause, a Homeless Charity in Town so I went along with it. All my rag supporting colleagues were in their rag kit or anything rag related - even Fred the Red, minus his mascot outfit, was under there. It was f**kin freezing - I went with the only thing with any red in I own - a Red/Black City Away Scarf - not one rag numpty spotted it or worked it out! I must dig out the photo!

 

[JH City]

In the airport at Barcelona after a Messi masterclass, in the security queue and up walks Gary Neville who had been commentating on the game the night before...he got a torrent of abuse from some young pissed up lads in front of us.
An hour later were sat in the lounge and got chatting to him and to be fair he was alright until my mate turned up to tell him how Goater skinned him in the derby. He took it quite well tbf.
Last Monarch flight I ever flew on.
Saw him and his family on a flight to Malaga a couple of years ago and kept my powder dry on this occasion as there is a time and a place, although I was tempted.

I was there that morning, Neville got some abuse at the x ray machines. Couldn’t believe he was on our flight, high flyers like him would be in BA business class ?? Tight and ducks arse spring to mind.
I shouted over to him near the cafe calling him Phil(his brothers name)). He said/ “my name is Gary” , came over and sat with us, had a chat about football. Strange experience. Red twat.

 

[bitterblue78]

Years ago i got home from work only to find a signed man united football on the table. I was natually fuming so i chucked it in the garden for the dog. The dog totally destroyed it to my satisfaction. The wife came home a couple of hours later and asked me where the football is as she was going to auction it off for a childrens charity