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Could do with a goal in this match. Ideally Spurs but it could see a few more too. I quite like goals.

Dundee United - Rangers at final whistle straight over to the North London Derby!

I used to know Cockneys who’d say “I ain’t got nah” etc. A little part of me would die inside each time.

Form can go out of the window in a derby.

Lots of things can kill us. Suicide is the number one death of younger men which is abhorrent when you think about it. I’m a non-smoker and sensible drinker but bowel cancer still came after me at just 42. I’ve also changed my lifestyle considerably to try and cut down the risk of it coming back.

We both must have been out of the country at the time. Besides, everyone knows that’s ABCDE FC v Sporting Lesbians.

I hate both Spurs and Arsenal but only one team are genuine title rivals. Spurs to take at least a point, please.

Is Mary D’s not what it was? The beer was never up to much but the atmosphere made up for it.

Surely he gets them from DH Gate type places?

I had to YouTube him to see how he sounds. Below was from Swansea’s Zinco Lounge and was how hash brown’s should be:

I broke my no Maccies rule recently for a quick breakfast up early. The hash brown was horrible. It was long and thin.

I’d sooner support a pub. The Grove or The Halfway House in Clayton were always fine.

No deep down. I adore a number of female friends but it’s purely plutonic. I tend to drink with the boys when I go out.

After such brilliant advice, I’ve sold an old laptop previously used to play Mindsweeper on 24/7. First of all, the gentleman lives in dipperland so I’m wearing my new pink Real Madrid shirt on with Bale 11 on the back to hand it over. I’ll feign surprise if challenged by a non-Evertonian and...

He’s from Llanddewi Brefi.

Am I right in thinking it’s actually pronounced “sex”? I’ve always called it Cee Eee X. Huw announcing The Queen’s death is absolute gold.

Some great tennis in the Sinner v Draper match.

Everton Away last season was on Amazon so I tried a number of new pubs to find somewhere showing it. I asked outside The Monkeys Nuts in Birkenvegas and received a “fuck off… just fuck off” from a punter. It lost its licence months later following an incident with an imitation firearm. Out of...

LonelyFans.

I’ve done a full reset on it. He’s besieging me with questions wanting photos from angles etc. I understand why many do sell to CEX…