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Punt/kick returner, if he’s lucky, I reckon. But doubt anyone’s going to take him on over a more experienced option that can cover another position or two.

All so limp (insert Kyle Walker comment here)

If, hypothetically, me and my kids were season ticket holders living in Scotland and not able to go. And, hypothetically, I had a mate and kids in London that wanted to go. Are spurs one of the clubs that go with phone tickets and, if so, hypothetically how easy would it be to transfer them...

Channel 991 on Virgin 970 is a bit, erm, “specialist”

You got me intrigued now for what it costs us (me and four kids with season tickets) Tickets £1250/19 = £66 Fuel - £80 Food and drink £30 (KFC on the way home, don’t buy anything in or around the ground) Parking - £10 So £184 a home game. Times 19 that’s £3496 a season for league games. Throw...

I’m a miserable prick so if I see anyone aged under 20, especially up here, I mutter something under my breath about not knowing what it’s really like. This applies to my own kids as much as anyone else and then they strap themselves in for a rant like a Vietnam vet where I tell them that they...

Finished today, back on the third but on-call if needed.

Anyone got a list of decent defensive midfielders available in January? It’s impressive that we had three in the top ten players in the world the Guardian published today. To have all three injured is…unfortunate.

Barry Conlon Fat, balding, useless and rarely seen breaking into a run.

The big blond Norwegian does the business again

We’re painfully slow on the left. And non existent on the right. With Kovacic doing a Gary Megson impersonation in the centre.

Seems like it’s only Foden’s that going to create anything today. Could do with Silva waking up at some point.

Cricket’s going ok though

Silva in the middle, Foden on the right Gomez on for Alvarez to sit in front of Gvardiol and shut things down on that wing

The 8-1 at Boro was appalling. I’d been at East End Park a couple of weeks before suffering Dunfermline lose 8-1 to Celtic with my Pars fan wife and wondered if anyone else was in that Venn diagram The 6-0 loss away at Derby still wakes me up at night I was at the Luton game but a bit young...

If I was to call the second half dogshit I’d be being too kind.

Rough maths 1983-96, 99% of home league and cup games = 260, plus 4/5 aways most years so maybe 310 96-2000, was a student and moved to Edinburgh so maybe 50% of home league and cup = 50, plus a handful of aways so 55 2000-2009, no kids worked full time, still coming down from Edinburgh but...

Must be Mandela effect but I was sure Hoddle had died?

So far I’ve learned from the commentator that Spurs are brilliant and incidentally that Shaw’s scored twice

Wouldn’t surprise me if the scousers nicked the corner flags