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I got tumescent. That's a nine. (look it up if you don't know what it means)

44 years, actually

Indeed. Three points, clean sheet, no injuries (AFAIK). Other than that - not a lot to say.

Don't you mean Was? (as in Was ist das?)

Just so long as we don't sign anyone from the Dutch Eredivisie..........please.........

Yes. Let's get back to some meaningful football.

I remember in 2012 when a big Utd fan said with a sneer "They'e spent all that money and only beat us on goal difference". Loser. Another rag fan I heard years before that in a pub saying "I don't rate Colin Bell. Hr's just a runner." I moved away. No use arguing with someone with fixed...

From memory......Sandham, Hammond, Huttom, Edrich (John), Gooch and now Brook.

Don't forget the magical Magyars, that wonderful Hungarian team that went for years undefeated in the early fifties, only to lose inexplicably to West germany in 1954. O my Puskas and my Boszik long ago

A colleague of mine called Bob Farr told me this in I think 1960 and i didn't laugh then either.

I think we call it a CV Hate Americanisms

Seven matches into the season and two sodding international breaks already. Madness. Anyway, back to the Wolves game - I have been looking at sequences and I find Wolves have now gone 10 PL games without a win, and City are on a sequence of 30 undefeated Pl atches. This is classic banana skin...

Don't bank on it. He has a habit of going to the brink, then just when it looks like the end he pulls off a miracle resuly to give him a bit of breathing space. Then the whole cycle starts all over again. Everyone says Villa are going to win this. I hope so, but as I say don't bank on it.

My son got into trouble for getting a girl in his class to give him a blow job. I said "Look, any more of this shit and you're going to have to give up teaching altogether"

You sick bastard

Lancs relegated from Div One of the Champiomnship. It was always going to happen

I was on a BBC quiz show a few years ago, a short-lived one called "Battle of the Brains". We were in teams of five, and at the end we had to answer a question each in turn correctly to win £5,000. The first four were answered correctly, then it was my turn as the last man . If I got it wrong...

You are an FOC then

The Parallax View Deliverance is relentlessly downbeat and no happy ending

1958 is only 66 years ago. You don't know how old I was when I heard it..........