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If Wayne Rooney's head keeps growing at the rate it is, he won't be able to get through the door into Old Trafford by the end of the decade.

Oh dear. How sad. Never mind.

I wouldn’t give a red for that. Except if Bruno Fernandes did it. Haha what a prick.

He’s fucking useless. Just runs a lot. But probably looks good sometimes because no one bothers to mark him.

I saw a graphic before yesterday’s game that showed Arsenal have wasted more time this season that any other club. That’s embarrassing for a supposed title challenger.

Stupid rule. It should always be for the same competition unless it's something like serious violent conduct.

Any rugby tackling the goalkeeper on this one?

He's genuinely the biggest prick in an Arsenal shirt, and that's some pretty stiff competition with all the fams and bluds up against him. I remember one where he refused to cheer an England goal because Harry Kane, a Spurs player, scored it. Possibly the most pathetic man in London.

To be fair, in properly socialist countries (or dictatorships generally), labour is cheap, and there's a huge emphasis on keeping everyone employed whether they're doing something productive or not. Stops dictators getting overthrown.

Agreed. There's no point banning social vices. All that'll do is drive them underground and make them more harmful. But that doesn't mean we should be bombarded with adverts for them at every opportunity. Having said that, that ship might have sailed with online advertising nowadays. Crystal...

I was just on the way home and I got stuck behind a bin van and thought of you. I'm currently living in (the Socialist Republic of) Vietnam, and it was at that moment that I realised we get a bin collection every day.

That's very kind of you to say.

Is this, by any chance, one of those roles they have over there that is elected and really shouldn't be?

Don't you just love the irony of someone who is in favour of small government moaning about the standard of services he receives from government-run things when they're not funded properly? It's like someone shitting the bed in the hotel and then phoning reception to complain about the smell.

Show me any examples of successful far right entirely free market economies over the past 120 years and you might have a point. Oh wait, there aren't any. See it's easy to argue against a bullshit strawman. But you literally had a list of shit you think the government should run earlier in the...

What a load of free market fundamentalist bollocks.

Lining himself up for the job when we get relegated.

VAR check............checking against Dulux colour chart...........red shirt, no violation!

If only there was some way of working out who the best team was without needing to rely on a bunch of nerds with a database.

This can't be true. We're constantly told be death penalty advocates that it's only used when the evidence is overwhelming and there's no doubt. Unless........maybe, just maybe, they're full of shit and only interested in satisfying their own sick bloodlust?