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A tramp walks into a home decorating shop. The guy behind the counter greets him "morning, what can I do for you today?" "2 bottles of methylated spirits please!" The guy has seen this before "no way buddy, I know your game, you're gonna drink em, it'll kill ya I won't have any part of...

Excellent defensive work today.

Top player, improving match by match in an unfamiliar position. Matty has been one of our most important players this season.

Top quality today, defensively and going forward. A genuine star in the making.

Rodri who? Nico is quality. Excellent today.

Sloppy play today.

100% Doku. Best wing display since Leroy left us. Brilliant performance, brilliant goal. O'Reilly and Gonzalez were class today.

Americana (2023) - Really enjoyed it. Hadn't heard of it at all before so no preconceptions. Well worth a watch if you like Coen brothers type films. 8/10

Moaning on here is acceptable. Booing a Blue at the match isn't. Never boo a Blue.

As my mate said to me a while back... Watching any team playing under Pep is "death by a thousand passes". It goes with the territory. When you're that good, most matches end up as glorified training sessions.

True, but that’s the price we pay for playing 'Pep-style' football. Personally, I thought we were more entertaining to watch during Manuel Pellegrini's first and second seasons, when teams didn't park buses every week.

Palace and Bournemouth are more consistently 'entertaining' than we are. We've been very erratic this season to be fair. That said, we're doing very nicely, thankyou! May is when it matters.

Not a problem. Same starting line up as Bournemouth match. 5-0 City, all Haaland.

Russia.

Fergie is a parasite and will grab what she can from the press / publishers etc, and go ino exile. The kids will have to rely on their husbands (if they aren't already in the process of ditching the tainted two). They're all finished.

Now he's a commoner, the door is open for prosecutions. Mummy isn't there to protect him or pay people off anymore. It's only a matter of time before his ex-wife starts to sell her stories to the gutter press to fund her lifestyle. That's when the floodgates will open. With any luck, I'll...

Many saw Eliaquim Mangala shut down Diego Costa a few years back. People thought he must have something about him defensively... Expect the worst and you won't be disappointed.

I thought she was called Elizabeth. Was Shirley a nickname?

The moment Donnarumma signed a 5-year contract, James Trafford's City 'career' became a thing of the past. The two strangest signings I have ever seen. One counteracts the other.