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I won't be happy until Khaldoon bums Levy in the centre circle

Bayern bound

I've told this one before but it's still my favourite joke. Shaggy "What's short for Rhinoceros ?" Scooby Doo "Rhino" Shaggy "What is it Scoob ?"

We've been doing that for the last 6 years. Fulham will be the deal breaker.

Check out Mark Steel's podcast, even the intro will make you laugh.

https://www.eurofoot.co.uk/var-decisions-set-to-be-explained-in-stadiums/ Now, there is a new progress for VAR. FIFA have authorised VAR to be audible in stadiums – this means that certain decisions will be explained to fans who are attending the game live and are watching from home

Mark my words, every club in the Premier League will fall foul of these ridiculous rules, our case will drag on and in 10 years time the incumbent will blame the predecessors and apologise for what went on before their tenure. Khaldoon is wiping the floor with these pathetic old men in charge of...

Ant & Dec will be excited

Alvarez must be up there, he won the fucking lot

What if they're looting AK47s ??

Liam with Mick Hucknall's hair

Tyson Fury needs to jump on Hojlunds back

He's on the bench

Porridge

Entitled, intrusive twat, that would never happen to a male team.

Ricky Hatton 5 minutes before half-time. I said " I can't last 45 minutes these days " Think he misheard me and thought I was taking the piss. Thought he was going to knock me out while I still had my dick in my hand.

Wahey, a right footed right winger, who'd've thunk it. Just keep Cole now.