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Luxury. We used to dream of a fire in the living room. Best we could manage was a packet of extra strong mints and sat round my dad as he breathed out to keep warm..

Have you never heard of the 3 Laws of Robotics? The Three Laws are: A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm. A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law. A robot must...

He must like long distance shopping, then. I've seen him several times in M & S Handforth Dean. You're thinking of Harry Twitcher.

Is that pronounced Quicky?

Thanks for the offer, but I hung my boots up in October 1978, and I'm a bit out of condition these days. My 5 year old granddaughter can run rings round me now. Having said that, it IS tempting!

It'll be around 3 months (hopefully) until I get my new leg, but I won't be playing football for a while, I don't think. Not at 73!

Was that from the top of the stairs where the bedrooms are?

Yet another four one conclusion.

I wish I was there tonight, but I won't be getting my new leg for 2 - 3 months. Hope to be back next season! Come on you Blues!!

One of the lads 3 years above me didn't do too badly, although became more famous after he retired. A lad called Gordon Taylor! One of my best mates was signed by Harry Godwin after one of our Sunday league matches. I told Harry he'd signed the wrong person! He started in the "B" team...

As I've mentioned before, my neighbour's dad was shot down over Normandy whist flying a Typhoon - with the correct allied markings - by a Mustang, who mistook him for a bf109! He spent a while in a pow camp for his troubles.

The famous "White Horse" final. David Jack was the first scorer at Wembley.

I once received a letter from a client with a very distinctive heraldic crest on it. The crest was surrounded by what appeared to be a Latin inscription, and , as a former student of the language, tried to translate it. After 10 seconds, I was pissing myself laughing. This is what it read...

Slight edit for accuracy.

Brighouse and Rastrick Brass Band?

Come on. You know the rules by now.

I'm 73. Never been in a bookies, and wouldn't know how to put a bet on. The only time I was conned into buying a ticket for the National was on a camp site in Shrewsbury, with the majority of the money going to a local charity. It cost me 50p, and I drew a horse called Aldaniti. I won a...

No. I borrowed it from an athletics coach I knew for the game. I needed a sun dial/calendar for my times.

Agree with everything you say, but, let's be honest, we're supposed to get 90 minutes football being played. The fans are, in effect, being short changed, and have been for years. It doesn't happen in Rugby or Hockey, so why not football? Football fans (myself included) may whinge and moan...

I've always maintained that there should be a "countdown clock" in operation, independently controlled, starting and stopping when the ball is in or out of play, or the referee blows for an infringement. In that way, there is no such thing as timewasting, as the clock is stopped, and everyone...