9 | Erling Haaland - 2025/26

[Gorbachev]

I think my team are. He doesn't play for your team.

I wouldn't want you running my club then if you think that outlay is acceptable at the moment.

 

[franksinatra]

His role isnt to aimlessly sprint at defenders. His role is to cut off angles and force the opponents to pass it into lanes we want them to go in order to trigger the (shit) press. He does this role well.

People that just want to see a headless chicken running after centre backs needlessly expending energy like a genetically enhanced Dickov and achieving nothing extra simply dont have a good grasp of our game.

Well I’ve certainly never said I want him to run around like a headless chicken, so that’s just made up nonsense for point scoring purposes.

Completely agree, that is what he is designed to do, and he is not alone, but the press has dropped off a cliff last year and so far this year.

 

[madloaf]

I wouldn't want you running my club then if you think that outlay is acceptable at the moment.

I would never want to run your club my friend. I'm glad you like your current owners. Long may it continue. Say hi to the dinner ladies for me.

 

[Pingu the Penguin]

149 goals and assists in 150 games. And people think he's a problem. Not just the newbie muppet doku fanboys and all that, but some of the old cunts too. Ah well. "you just don't know football" as every other twat on this forum would say.

Could do a bit more but last of our issues at the moment

 

[madloaf]

Could do a bit more but last of our issues at the moment

Yes I'd like him to score every shot he ever takes as well. You're right with the last bit.

 

[Pingu the Penguin]

Yes I'd like him to score every shot he ever takes as well. You're right with the last bit.

Easy mate! Could he improve parts of his game do you think?

 

[alexmcity]

Haaland and Rodri are currently the only world class players we have. Hopefully we will add Donnarumma to them.

Other players are very good, capable of brilliant games here and there. Some are not even very good, but they are talented and may become top players.

 

[Blue Hefner]

I don’t want to slag him off, but I can’t watch this for the next 8 years

Come on. We’ll be like Shearer’s Newcastle, he’ll score loads but the team won’t do anything - if the job of the team is to give him chance then he needs to score two today, at least.

He needs to be more like Drogba in a way and get his arse in the way and get us some free kicks or some sort of link up

 

[ninjamonkey]

Well I’ve certainly never said I want him to run around like a headless chicken, so that’s just made up nonsense for point scoring purposes.

Completely agree, that is what he is designed to do, and he is not alone, but the press has dropped off a cliff last year and so far this year.

I wasn't trying to suggest you have said that, I used the term "people" to try and indicate i was referring to a wider consensus that consistently bemoan what they see as his lack of running and effort rather than you personally.

The press is monumentally shit across the side and leads to all manner of issues with us being outnumbered at the back very easily but I dont think it has anything to do with Haaland, his role in the press is a small one but he does his role.

 

[skillman]

That 1v1 at 0-0 was shocking. That bad I thought he’d injured himself kicking it!

 

[decmancity]

Couldn’t see it in the ground but fuck me this was woeful

 

[madloaf]

Easy mate! Could he improve parts of his game do you think?

Thank you at least for taking the response with good humour!

Err..I don't know what people expect. He misses chances, like every striker, he is constantly wrestled to the floor without fear of punishment he scores or assists statistically every single game he plays. Read that again. Fix the leaking roof, the broken door, the gas, electrics and broadband first then come back for the broken light bulb.

 

[Pingu the Penguin]

Thank you at least for taking the response with good humour!

Err..I don't know what people expect. He misses chances, like every striker, he is constantly wrestled to the floor without fear of punishment he scores or assists statistically every single game he plays. Read that again. Fix the leaking roof, the broken door, the gas, electrics and broadband first then come back for the broken light bulb.

Haha I agree! Heading needs work tho

 

[skillman]

I think if we didn’t keep looking for him all the time others could score it seems they are afraid to have a go

When he’s not on, we suddenly play the balls over the top that he’d thrive on. Infuriating!

I can’t believe a guy with 105 goal and assists in 100 games is getting shit in here.

Yes he missed a sitter. But he also scored one to put us ahead.

No matter how shit or blunt we look, he always pops up with a goal. Last season too. Glad he’s here for 10 years, I just hope he gets a manager who plays to his strengths at some point.

However, he does need to use his physicality more often. He’s too soft a lot of the time and gets bullied. Which, considering he’s a 6ft+ brick shithouse, is baffling.

 

[madloaf]

I don’t want to slag him off, but I can’t watch this for the next 8 years

Come on. We’ll be like Shearer’s Newcastle, he’ll score loads but the team won’t do anything - if the job of the team is to give him chance then he needs to score two today, at least.

He needs to be more like Drogba in a way and get his arse in the way and get us some free kicks or some sort of link up

Surely the best manager in the world can work it out?

 

[WesthoughtonJohn]

Haaland and Rodri are currently the only world class players we have. Hopefully we will add Donnarumma to them.

Other players are very good, capable of brilliant games here and there. Some are not even very good, but they are talented and may become top players.

Once again Donnarumma does NOTHING to solve the (many) issues we have.
If we're signing players - RB and a mobile MF enforcer are far higher up the list

 

[Saddleworth2]

Couldn’t see it in the ground but fuck me this was woeful

Thing is, he would have scored that in his first season 9 times out of 10

 

[madloaf]

Thing is, he would have scored that in his first season 9 times out of 10

Probably befuddled by receiving a through ball.

 

[franksinatra]

I wasn't trying to suggest you have said that, I used the term "people" to try and indicate i was referring to a wider consensus that consistently bemoan what they see as his lack of running and effort rather than you personally.

The press is monumentally shit across the side and leads to all manner of issues with us being outnumbered at the back very easily but I dont think it has anything to do with Haaland, his role in the press is a small one but he does his role.

That is fair enough. I probably disagree on Haaland’s role in the press, but as I said I don’t think he is solely responsible, Doku and Savinho also, in my eyes, adopted a ‘fake’ press last year also.

I take your point about the headless chicken press, however for a press to work effectively there has to be an intent and a fear for the opposition they might lose the ball to impact on their decision-making.

Anfield the first 20 minutes of each half is an example of that as was coming to the Etihad in seasons past. It’s far too passive.

 

[madloaf]

That is fair enough. I probably disagree on Haaland’s role in the press, but as I said I don’t think he is solely responsible, Doku and Savinho also, in my eyes, adopted a ‘fake’ press last year also.

I take your point about the headless chicken press, however for a press to work effectively there has to be an intent and a fear for the opposition they might lose the ball to impact on their decision-making.

Anfield the first 20 minutes of each half is an example of that as was coming to the Etihad in seasons past. It’s far too passive.

Couldn't agree more the press is sporadic and disjointed. That comes from coaching and effort. Maybe the wingers are too worried about what's over their shoulder, don't trust the full backs etc. maybe the players just aren't as good (that's a fact). I agree its a fake press.