bowdonblue
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 8 Sep 2008
- Messages
- 1,256
BillyMC said:
Come on lads, are we with him??
*steps aside to let tumbleweed roll slowly past*
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A Grimsby Town post...lifes not bad lads!
- Thread starter BillyMC
- Start date
Come on lads, are we with him??
*steps aside to let tumbleweed roll slowly past*
Blue Tooth
Well-Known Member
Must be something about watching Grimsby
This letter actually made it's way itno the national press last year.
Dear Players of Grimsby Town FC,
I am writing with regard to my absolute astonishment and disbelief as to the sheer magnitude of your complete lack of talent and failure to carry out the job for which you are paid to do. I am not aware of any swear word or other derogatory phrase in my current vocabulary which comes close to a description of your ‘performance’ (and I use that term loosely) this afternoon, but let me just say that you have collectively reached a level of inadequacy and ineptitude that neither I nor modern science had previously considered possible.
In fact I recall a time, in my youth, when I decided to call in sick at work and instead spent the entire day in my one bedroom flat wearing nothing but my underpants, eating toast and ------- furiously over second-rate Scandinavian porn. Yet somehow, I still managed to contribute more to my employer in that one Andrex-filled day than you complete bunch of toss-baskets have contributed to this club in your entire time here.
I would genuinely like to know how you pathetic little pishflaps sleep at night, knowing full well that you have taken my money and that of several thousand others and delivered precisely ---- all in return. I run a business myself, and I believe I could take any 4,000 of my customers at random; burn down their houses, impregnate their wives and then dismember their children before systematically sending them back in the post, limb-by-limb, and still ensure a level of customer satisfaction which exceeds that which I have experienced at Blundell Park at any time so far this season.
You are a total disgrace, not only to your profession, not only to the human race, but to nature itself. This may sound like an exaggeration, but believe me when I say that I have passed kidney stones which have brought me a greater level of pleasure and entertainment than watching each of you worthless excuses for professional footballers attempt to play a game you are clearly incapable of playing, week-in, week-out.
I considered, for a second, that I was perhaps being a little too harsh. But then I recalled that I have blindly given you all the benefit of the doubt for too long now. Yes, for too long you have failed to earn the air you’ve been breathing by offering any kind of tangible quality either as footballers or as people in general. As such, I feel it’s only fair that your supply runs out forthwith.
I trust, at this precise moment in time, that Mr Fenty is in his office tapping away on the easyJet web site booking you all one-way flights to Zurich, complete with an overnight stay with our cheese eating friends at Dignitas. Don’t bother packing your toothbrush – you won’t need it.
In the event that our beloved chairman can’t afford the expense (understandable given that he’s soon going to have to assemble a new squad from scratch), then I am prepared to sell my family (including my unborn child) to a dubious consortium of Middle Eastern businessmen in order to pay for the flights. Christ, I’ll drive you there myself, one-by one, without sleep, if I have to.
Failing that, understanding that most dubious Middle Eastern businessmen are tied-up purchasing Premier League football clubs, I ask you to please take matters into your hands. Use your imagination, guys – strangle yourselves or cover yourself in tinfoil and take a fork to a nearby plug socket, or something. Just put yourselves and us fans out of our collective misery.
So, in summary, you pack of repugnant, sputum-filled, invertebrate --------; leave this club now and don’t you ------- dare look back. You’ve consistently demonstrated less passion and desire than can commonly be found within the contents of a sloth’s scrotum, so frankly you can just all ---- off – don’t pass go, don’t collect your wages, don’t ever come back to this town again.
I look forward to you serving me at my local McDonald’s drive-through in the near future.
Yours sincerely
A very disillusioned Mariner
This letter actually made it's way itno the national press last year.
Dear Players of Grimsby Town FC,
I am writing with regard to my absolute astonishment and disbelief as to the sheer magnitude of your complete lack of talent and failure to carry out the job for which you are paid to do. I am not aware of any swear word or other derogatory phrase in my current vocabulary which comes close to a description of your ‘performance’ (and I use that term loosely) this afternoon, but let me just say that you have collectively reached a level of inadequacy and ineptitude that neither I nor modern science had previously considered possible.
In fact I recall a time, in my youth, when I decided to call in sick at work and instead spent the entire day in my one bedroom flat wearing nothing but my underpants, eating toast and ------- furiously over second-rate Scandinavian porn. Yet somehow, I still managed to contribute more to my employer in that one Andrex-filled day than you complete bunch of toss-baskets have contributed to this club in your entire time here.
I would genuinely like to know how you pathetic little pishflaps sleep at night, knowing full well that you have taken my money and that of several thousand others and delivered precisely ---- all in return. I run a business myself, and I believe I could take any 4,000 of my customers at random; burn down their houses, impregnate their wives and then dismember their children before systematically sending them back in the post, limb-by-limb, and still ensure a level of customer satisfaction which exceeds that which I have experienced at Blundell Park at any time so far this season.
You are a total disgrace, not only to your profession, not only to the human race, but to nature itself. This may sound like an exaggeration, but believe me when I say that I have passed kidney stones which have brought me a greater level of pleasure and entertainment than watching each of you worthless excuses for professional footballers attempt to play a game you are clearly incapable of playing, week-in, week-out.
I considered, for a second, that I was perhaps being a little too harsh. But then I recalled that I have blindly given you all the benefit of the doubt for too long now. Yes, for too long you have failed to earn the air you’ve been breathing by offering any kind of tangible quality either as footballers or as people in general. As such, I feel it’s only fair that your supply runs out forthwith.
I trust, at this precise moment in time, that Mr Fenty is in his office tapping away on the easyJet web site booking you all one-way flights to Zurich, complete with an overnight stay with our cheese eating friends at Dignitas. Don’t bother packing your toothbrush – you won’t need it.
In the event that our beloved chairman can’t afford the expense (understandable given that he’s soon going to have to assemble a new squad from scratch), then I am prepared to sell my family (including my unborn child) to a dubious consortium of Middle Eastern businessmen in order to pay for the flights. Christ, I’ll drive you there myself, one-by one, without sleep, if I have to.
Failing that, understanding that most dubious Middle Eastern businessmen are tied-up purchasing Premier League football clubs, I ask you to please take matters into your hands. Use your imagination, guys – strangle yourselves or cover yourself in tinfoil and take a fork to a nearby plug socket, or something. Just put yourselves and us fans out of our collective misery.
So, in summary, you pack of repugnant, sputum-filled, invertebrate --------; leave this club now and don’t you ------- dare look back. You’ve consistently demonstrated less passion and desire than can commonly be found within the contents of a sloth’s scrotum, so frankly you can just all ---- off – don’t pass go, don’t collect your wages, don’t ever come back to this town again.
I look forward to you serving me at my local McDonald’s drive-through in the near future.
Yours sincerely
A very disillusioned Mariner
mcfcnorthstand
Well-Known Member
I hate Grimsby with a passion just like Arsenal.
Freestyler
Well-Known Member
Blue Tooth said:Must be something about watching Grimsby
This letter actually made it's way itno the national press last year.
In fact I recall a time, in my youth, when I decided to call in sick at work and instead spent the entire day in my one bedroom flat wearing nothing but my underpants, eating toast and ------- furiously over second-rate Scandinavian porn. Yet somehow, I still managed to contribute more to my employer in that one Andrex-filled day than you complete bunch of toss-baskets have contributed to this club in your entire time here
BRILLIANT! LOL
ifiwasarichfan
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 4 Dec 2008
- Messages
- 7,941
Damocles said:Sounds horrifically like us a decade back.
Well played that man.
Sorry Damocles but it is nothing like us. This poor Lad has just seen the Love of his Life disintergrate into Non League Football. I cant even begin to imagine how much pain he will be in.
Manchester_lalala
Well-Known Member
Hahaha, I'm from and live in Grimsby and this is some funny stuff! I was a season ticket holder for 3 years when they was in the championship, just madness that there going to be playing pissing yeading next season! So if city don't get fourth, it wouldn't be that much of a dissapointment to me, just got to look at my other team and see how much better off we are!
Dave Ewing's Back 'eader
Well-Known Member
That wants cutting out and a copy pasting over each urinal, so that at halftime with a 0-0 no-shots-on-goal first half to consider, we can see how lucky we are to watch anything of dire proportions.
salt of the earth ,genuine football fan who loves his club
i have a million times more respect for him and his sort than, the weak willed ,glory hunting sad cases from grimsby and all over the world who thought it better to support manchester united
this is why i cant bring myself to hate leeds fans,everton fans,newcastle
or any other teams fans ,even genuine man utd fans who actually can name the back four are ok with me !!
(maybe not )
i have a million times more respect for him and his sort than, the weak willed ,glory hunting sad cases from grimsby and all over the world who thought it better to support manchester united
this is why i cant bring myself to hate leeds fans,everton fans,newcastle
or any other teams fans ,even genuine man utd fans who actually can name the back four are ok with me !!
(maybe not )