a horrible incident in the toilet.

[Neil McNab]

Surely in this modern world, our genetalia should be catered for at the seats in which we are sat. A different mould for the seat and a bit of basic plumbing.

 

[Montgomery Burns]

Surely in this modern world, our genetalia should be catered for at the seats in which we are sat. A different mould for the seat and a bit of basic plumbing.

A modesty blanket would be essential, for health and safety reasons. And a heated seat would be preferable, especially in winter.

 

[BingoBango]

Surely in this modern world, our genetalia should be catered for at the seats in which we are sat. A different mould for the seat and a bit of basic plumbing.

But what about those supporters who want to fit in a quick wank before the game re-starts? Think of the children, man.

 

[sweynforkbeard]

Surely in this modern world, our genetalia should be catered for at the seats in which we are sat. A different mould for the seat and a bit of basic plumbing.

A modesty blanket would be essential, for health and safety reasons. And a heated seat would be preferable, especially in winter.

Excellent suggestions-at last some unconventional thinking (often the sign of a first rate mind) in the quest for a solution to this dilemma. The ability to relieve oneself in situ during the progress of a match would leave the toilets free for smokers throughout the game and not just at half time. My one concern is that for games like Saturdays the close proximity of players like Gary Neville to our supporters would cause an unbearable load to be placed on the underseat drainage system.

 

[Montgomery Burns]

Surely in this modern world, our genetalia should be catered for at the seats in which we are sat. A different mould for the seat and a bit of basic plumbing.

But what about those supporters who want to fit in a quick wank before the game re-starts? Think of the children, man.

I would imagine that's where the modesty blanket comes in. You could hire them for the game from the club shop at say a pound a time - £5 if any dry cleaning is required.

EDIT: There surely is a gap in the market for the 'football seat' that could be exploited by some sharp minded entrepreneur. Perhaps Neil McNab would like to apply for a trademark? It would be quite something seeing him begging for money on Dragon's Den, but obviously the physical demonstration of said item would require that modesty blanket.

Having said all this, whilst I've seen a few exciting games in my time I've never seen one that exciting!

 

[Balti]

Talking of unsavoury bogs how about the corrugated roof corner job behind the Kippax. I think I'd rather have crapped in my pants rather than have tried to take a crap in there. Although taking a leak was always fun what with splashing through the paddling pool of urine and the piss the fag ends to the other end of the trough game. Plus you could get buy your drugs at the same time. Quality.

 

[BingoBango]

But what about those supporters who want to fit in a quick wank before the game re-starts? Think of the children, man.

I would imagine that's where the modesty blanket comes in. You could hire them for the game from the club shop at say a pound a time - £5 if any dry cleaning is required.

EDIT: There surely is a gap in the market for the 'football seat' that could be exploited by some sharp minded entrepreneur. Perhaps Neil McNab would like to apply for a trademark? It would be quite something seeing him begging for money on Dragon's Den, but obviously the physical demonstration of said item would require that modesty blanket.

Having said all this, whilst I've seen a few exciting games in my time I've never seen one that exciting!

Indeed. Seeing Theo Paphitis' expression as Neil either tugs or curls one out would be a sight to behold.

 

[Montgomery Burns]

Talking of unsavoury bogs how about the corrugated roof corner job behind the Kippax. I think I'd rather have crapped in my pants rather than have tried to take a crap in there. Although taking a leak was always fun what with splashing through the paddling pool of urine and the piss the fag ends to the other end of the trough game. Plus you could get buy your drugs at the same time. Quality.

Fair point. I guess the bogs near 110/111 are luxury by comparison!<br /><br />-- Thu Apr 15, 2010 1:14 pm --<br /><br />

I would imagine that's where the modesty blanket comes in. You could hire them for the game from the club shop at say a pound a time - £5 if any dry cleaning is required.

EDIT: There surely is a gap in the market for the 'football seat' that could be exploited by some sharp minded entrepreneur. Perhaps Neil McNab would like to apply for a trademark? It would be quite something seeing him begging for money on Dragon's Den, but obviously the physical demonstration of said item would require that modesty blanket.

Having said all this, whilst I've seen a few exciting games in my time I've never seen one that exciting!

Indeed. Seeing Theo Paphitis' expression as Neil either tugs or curls one out would be a sight to behold.

I hope he'd be doing the old 'here's one I prepared earlier ....'

Anything else would be distasteful and would have to be after the 9pm watershed.

 

[u2fme2]

EVERY CLUB has its pricks

 

[jimharri]

EVERY CLUB has its pricks

MIB's? Moston (B)rats?