A question for parents

Swales lives

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My eldest daughter is nearly 8 and is starting to ask those dreaded questions about 'babies'. She thinks I'm her dad just because I'm married to her mum. She obviously has no idea that I've been porking the old girl for some years now.

I'm at a complete loss about how to handle this one, as "ask yer mum" just won't cut it. I've already bullshitted the kids about Santa, the tooth-fairy and Mark Hughes, and I want the web of lies to stop here. How do I handle this and not look like a dirty bastard? Any advice would be appreciated.
 
Swales lives said:
My eldest daughter is nearly 8 and is starting to ask those dreaded questions about 'babies'. She thinks I'm her dad just because I'm married to her mum. She obviously has no idea that I've been porking the old girl for some years now.

I'm at a complete loss about how to handle this one, as "ask yer mum" just won't cut it. I've already bullshitted the kids about Santa, the tooth-fairy and Mark Hughes, and I want the web of lies to stop here. How do I handle this and not look like a dirty bastard? Any advice would be appreciated.

quite simple, tell the truth, its better you feeling a prat than her looking one in school, or worse not knowing the dangers ahead.
 
de niro said:
Swales lives said:
My eldest daughter is nearly 8 and is starting to ask those dreaded questions about 'babies'. She thinks I'm her dad just because I'm married to her mum. She obviously has no idea that I've been porking the old girl for some years now.

I'm at a complete loss about how to handle this one, as "ask yer mum" just won't cut it. I've already bullshitted the kids about Santa, the tooth-fairy and Mark Hughes, and I want the web of lies to stop here. How do I handle this and not look like a dirty bastard? Any advice would be appreciated.

quite simple, tell the truth, its better you feeling a prat than her looking one in school, or worse not knowing the dangers ahead.

Yeah thats true, dont want your child getting bullied
 
de niro said:
Swales lives said:
My eldest daughter is nearly 8 and is starting to ask those dreaded questions about 'babies'. She thinks I'm her dad just because I'm married to her mum. She obviously has no idea that I've been porking the old girl for some years now.

I'm at a complete loss about how to handle this one, as "ask yer mum" just won't cut it. I've already bullshitted the kids about Santa, the tooth-fairy and Mark Hughes, and I want the web of lies to stop here. How do I handle this and not look like a dirty bastard? Any advice would be appreciated.

quite simple, tell the truth, its better you feeling a prat than her looking one in school, or worse not knowing the dangers ahead.

I know what you're saying, but she's just so young. She still believes in the Easter bunny. I know you're right though, I didn't expect these questions quite so early. My wife can tell her and I'll just read the cereal box intensely over breakfast, while my daughter scowls at me.
 
NQT said:
It's quite easy to explain to an eight year old. She was an egg in Mummy's tummy.

That is it

We told her that about 3 years ago, she's much more inquisitive now. I'm going with DeNiro and Ihatemanu's advice of 'the truth'.
She can look all grown up in front of her mates. I'm actually dreading the 'Santa' conversation now. It won't be the same when she starts asking for money instead of half the Argos catalogue.
 

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