Adoption

[bernabias home shirt]

How long ago was that Cookie Monster ? Ours took just over a year but that was 25 yrs ago

It was 2010
Took 23 months from the first ever social worker visit to actually being matched and a child being placed with us,and then a further 7 months to get it rubber stamped at the civil courts,celebration day they call it.

How is it going ? I adopted 3 siblings 3, 4, and 5 yrs and fell in love with them the 1st time I saw them

Its going fantastic thanks toby,greatest thing ive ever dome in my life...

how regular is the contact during those 15 months? Are there forms to fill out every week or what?

There are quiet a lot of forms to fill out at the beginning then not as many as the process goes along
Be prepared to have every part of you life looked into though from being a toddler to present day
Your finance's will be scrutinised,your health(medical) past problems,crb check,past relationships,Family,Friends,school life from reception,junior & secondary,how close you and your partner are & even your sex life with you partner will be looked into(that just to make sure your a loving couple)you will need a minimum of two referee's each,1 family 1 friend who will be questioned abt you,theres lots more too & trust me no stone wil be left unturned mate..

Obviously I am full of praise for anyone wishing to adopt as I no from my own experience how tough it is raising a child that isn't biologically yours , I say tough, but in the sense that raising a child is hard work anyway. I don't really think of the baby I'm raising as mine, all I care about is keeping her healthy and happy and I find that in itself very rewarding. She's nearly 3 now and I have had the best years of my life bringing her up.

I dont get that bit tbh mark,then again i dont know the circumstances involved
But i can assure you our little one who we adopted at one year of age is ours,i dont even think of her as anyone else's now tbh...

 

[BlueHammer85]

I dont get that bit tbh mark,then again i dont know the circumstances involved
But i can assure you our little one who we adopted at one year of age is ours,i dont even think of her as anyone else's now tbh...

Hard to explain really, i think i feel no different whether if i was the real father or not .. all i care about is raising her to be healthy and happy

 

[crazyg]

It was 2010
Took 23 months from the first ever social worker visit to actually being matched and a child being placed with us,and then a further 7 months to get it rubber stamped at the civil courts,celebration day they call it.

How is it going ? I adopted 3 siblings 3, 4, and 5 yrs and fell in love with them the 1st time I saw them

Its going fantastic thanks toby,greatest thing ive ever dome in my life...

how regular is the contact during those 15 months? Are there forms to fill out every week or what?

There are quiet a lot of forms to fill out at the beginning then not as many as the process goes along
Be prepared to have every part of you life looked into though from being a toddler to present day
Your finance's will be scrutinised,your health(medical) past problems,crb check,past relationships,Family,Friends,school life from reception,junior & secondary,how close you and your partner are & even your sex life with you partner will be looked into(that just to make sure your a loving couple)you will need a minimum of two referee's each,1 family 1 friend who will be questioned abt you,theres lots more too & trust me no stone wil be left unturned mate..

Obviously I am full of praise for anyone wishing to adopt as I no from my own experience how tough it is raising a child that isn't biologically yours , I say tough, but in the sense that raising a child is hard work anyway. I don't really think of the baby I'm raising as mine, all I care about is keeping her healthy and happy and I find that in itself very rewarding. She's nearly 3 now and I have had the best years of my life bringing her up.

I dont get that bit tbh mark,then again i dont know the circumstances involved
But i can assure you our little one who we adopted at one year of age is ours,i dont even think of her as anyone else's now tbh...

Must admit I can't really understand that comment either. When the Adoption Order is signed, the child is legally yours. From then on, nothing else matters. It's YOUR child. Whether the fruits of your loins or not, it is up to you to bring it up AS YOUR OWN CHILD.

A friend of ours gave us a sonnet which describes the feelings I have for MY kids. It still brings a tear to my eye when I read it. It is framed between pictures of the two of them when they were 4 or 5.

My Own Child

I did not plant you, true
But when the season is done
When the alternate prayers for sun and for rain are counted
When the pain of weeding and the pride of watching are through
Then I will hold you high
A shining sheaf above the thousand seeds grown wild
Not my planting
But by heaven my harvest
MY OWN CHILD

Says it all.

 

[Blue Streak]

Met a guy who was adopting and spoke briefly a out the process. I think he said he had taken 9 months so far and had a final meeting soon with him and his wife in a room with 12 others who were basically judging them of there suitability. Fair play to anyone who goes through that. Shows true commitment.

I have a friend who adopted a little girl a couple of years ago and the process that they had to go through was so long winded it was incredible. At times I wondered if she was going to give up but she didn't. However one of the sacrifices they had to make was move out of Manchester because they didn't want the little girl to have any influences in her life from her natural family. A very bad bunch by all accounts.

 

[Rascal]

I am adopted. I love my mam and sadly deceased dad with a passion. They brought me up and gave me chances in life.

If its in your heart to give a little one a chance please do it. Everyone deserves a little bit of love

Me too Rascal. Me and my twat of a brother. Mum and Dad have been fantastic. Never ever tried to find my birth parents, never felt the need

Ive never felt compelled to find my birth parents either. Im happy very happy with what I got thanks.

A good friend of mine who was also adopted sought out her birth mother. She met her and was told in no uncertain terms the meeting was a one off. My friend was really hurt by it, but she did find out who her birth father was and enjoys a cordial but not exactly loving relationship with him.

 

[Phil Meup]

What a heart warming thread and respect to those of you who have adopted.

Well said Stony.
Anyone considering should give it a go. I'm guessing it would be very difficult - but so is regular parenting - but also very rewarding. There does seem to be plenty of help out there these days to try and make adoptions succeed.