Anthony Burns RIP dad... bereavement question? Is it normal not to cry.

My dad died at the MRI in 2004. And took me mum to see him dead in bed and I cried like a baby not because he had died but more the relief he didn’t suffer any longer. So yes people react differently with love ones. So all I can say is chin up mate.
 
Kinkladze's crazy skills said:
I've been quiet about this but my dad:
Anthony "Burnie" Burns died aged 67 on the 14th of June 2025 at 11am... RIP Dad.
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He's not having a funeral he didn't want to have one and to stop that even paid for his own cremation we're just gonna celebrate him, we're meant to be getting his ashes back on Friday before scattering them on Saturday with family and friends then off to a pub for a bit.

My question is I've still not cried yet and I honestly don't know why, it's really bothering me as I'd convinced myself I'd be a mess when he died, maybe there's a little denial going on but then again I know it certainly feels real and serious.
Have any of you unexpectedly failed to cry at the loss of a loved one?

He was 67 my dad and had been dealing with multiple health issues including heart failure, diabetes, peripheral neuropathy plus others for over the last few years.
He had limb ischemia and sepsis in the end while in hospital and he needed his legs urgently amputating, unfortunately though he just wasn't well enough to have the operation and slipped away to the great Kippax Stand in the sky

He was a proper rum fucker my dad with a punk outlook said things how he saw them which lead to fallouts, if he thought your views were bobbins or out of order he'd call you out he was a proper character, he was also a joker though a truly funny man who honestly had the greatest laugh you'd ever hear.

He sadly had a drink problem in that he just enjoyed it far too much, his grandkids and City along with his drinking and music are what mattered most.
He had his demons but I wish I was more like him in the way he didn't give a damn what others thought, he helped mould me into the man I am now and was good at heart, I'm certain that without him I'd probably be a wrongun/criminal or even worse maybe an angin rag.

I used to go to his every week for a couple days to look after him help with the shopping or owt else he needed doing, born in 1957 he went St.Marks school and went by Bernie and Two Pint Tony when he went to pubs such as the bluebell in the 90s.
He moved to Bolton in the year 2000 to look after my Nan after she moved there and never came back to Manchester, other than City and his music he was really into his darts (playing it) cricket and golf.

Never met a more common as muck down to earth person in my life, he was very punk in attitude gave zero fucks what anyone thought of him, he taught me to mostly be the same and I do try my best to go on my own path.
I'm blessed to have had him in my life and I'm gutted I won't be spending more time with him, missing those days already big time this was me and him when we won the treble...
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Funnily enough I actually cried that night for the first time in close to a decade and even posted that I wasn't ashamed of it on the post match thread, the tears wasn't just for us winning but because my Dad should've actually died a month earlier than that and we got to see this together.

Because of that fact even though I was there for many of our trophy wins in since the takeover, this night with my Dad meant more to me than everything else I could've gone to Istanbul for that final but didn't, just so that I could watch us finalise that treble win with the legend that is my Dad.

Maybe it's because he hung on a lot longer than expected and has been in hospital for extended stays over the last few years, still though I don't understand why I haven't cried there's been days I've zoned out since, there's been no tears though and I'm not sure there will be it's been incredibly stressful at times but no tears.
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Obviously a sound guy and a terrific dad and you a good son remember, although no longer with us he lives in your memory and those who loved him Continue to treasure those memories they are worth everything
The crying, well we all deal with things differently and there isn’t a right or wrong way, no tick sheet as to what you should do or feel How things are dealt with depends on our make up Maybe one day it will hit you or not, but you are grieving it’s in your post and so brave of you to come on here and tell us all, hope it has helped, there are some terrific replies. The important thing is how you looked after him, seems he did the same for his mum Good people
RIP Burnie commiserations to you and all his loved ones and friends
 
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Many heartfelt condolences mate, after 24 years I still occasionally get emotional about my Dad not being around, It really cut me up sitting next my son at Wembley a few years ago (Watford Final) and thinking about him, it's something we never got to do together. Yes, it is perfectly normal to NOT cry at loosing someone, it doesn't mean you think any less of them. It may take a while to come to terms with it, and even then you can find yourself suddenly getting unexpectedly upset out of the blue even years later, but it's perfectly OK if that never happens, you can't help your emotions. You know how much your Dad means to you, and I have no doubt he knew it too.
 
Sorry to hear of your loss mate.
I lost my dad in February. It isn't easy but gets easier honestly but that love never dies.
You are probably in shock. People grieve differently. I'm currently feeling a bit of burnout mentally as I don't think i had enough time off work plus my mother in law passed away 5 weeks ago and it just churned everything up.
Don't worry about not crying, when you're body and mind are ready the tears will flow, emotions do weird things to you, you're probably stressed and full of anxiety after your dad's passing. You'll have a quiet time to yourself and then you'll probably let the tears out when you least expect.

Again I'm so sorry about your loss, my heart goes out to you blue
 
My Mum and Dad passed away within days and were cremated together. I didn't cry. Then one day driving home from work a record from the 70s that I use to hear on 261 came on. I welled up and sobbed. Every now nd again while I listen to music tears will come. You will have your time when you are ready blue.
 
Your post is a great tribute to a man you clearly love.

I'm thankful daily to still have my parents. Your dad is only a few years older than mine, and at times your words echoed what I would probably write about my Dad if I was in your shoes. They sound cut from a similar cloth.

I am sorry to hear of your loss.
 
Do whatever you need to do pal, cry or think or scream & shout - whatever it is you need to do - If anyone on here actually asked for someone to talk to there would be a few people ready to lend an ear I'm sure- also Andys Man Club are great and are linked with City - Male mental health the group started initially from a rugby lad committing suicide and his brotherset up the group which are now Greater Manchester wide ...
 
Great post, RIP to your father and condolences to you all.

My mum passed 17/2/2015. I never cried, I watched her pass and felt relieved she wasnt suffering anymore (cancer). At the funeral, I carried her and a lot of people were crying around me but I just felt numb i suppose. I was in auto pilot I think.

Then, in 2020 I had another daughter, and boy that’s when it hit me, the thought of her nanna not being able to spend time with her. Or if my daughter wins a simple certificate of achievement at school sets me off!

I don’t know what it is but my little girl looks so much like my mother that it just triggers something. I suppose I see my mums legacy in my kids, especially the little ones and especially my littlest girl.

Anyway sorry to be long winded,

All the best to you all. Your dad’s legacy lives on in his kids and grandkids.
 
Very sad, sorry for your loss, it’s a terrible thing to deal with. Don’t have any regrets, sounds like your Dad didn’t, RIP, another Blue gone too soon, you’ll cope in your own way, cherish the memories and great times you had with him, they’ll outweigh the loss eventually but it’s not an easy process, best wishes.
 
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