Anthony Burns RIP dad... bereavement question? Is it normal not to cry.

Once a blue always a blue, RIP to your Dad. And best advice I can give you is take it an hour at a time. Theres no right or wrong. All the best mate
 
Kinkladze's crazy skills said:
I've been quiet about this but my dad:
Anthony "Burnie" Burns died aged 67 on the 14th of June 2025 at 11am... RIP Dad.
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He's not having a funeral he didn't want to have one and to stop that even paid for his own cremation we're just gonna celebrate him, we're meant to be getting his ashes back on Friday before scattering them on Saturday with family and friends then off to a pub for a bit.

My question is I've still not cried yet and I honestly don't know why, it's really bothering me as I'd convinced myself I'd be a mess when he died, maybe there's a little denial going on but then again I know it certainly feels real and serious.
Have any of you unexpectedly failed to cry at the loss of a loved one?

He was 67 my dad and had been dealing with multiple health issues including heart failure, diabetes, peripheral neuropathy plus others for over the last few years.
He had limb ischemia and sepsis in the end while in hospital and he needed his legs urgently amputating, unfortunately though he just wasn't well enough to have the operation and slipped away to the great Kippax Stand in the sky

He was a proper rum fucker my dad with a punk outlook said things how he saw them which lead to fallouts, if he thought your views were bobbins or out of order he'd call you out he was a proper character, he was also a joker though a truly funny man who honestly had the greatest laugh you'd ever hear.

He sadly had a drink problem in that he just enjoyed it far too much, his grandkids and City along with his drinking and music are what mattered most.
He had his demons but I wish I was more like him in the way he didn't give a damn what others thought, he helped mould me into the man I am now and was good at heart, I'm certain that without him I'd probably be a wrongun/criminal or even worse maybe an angin rag.

I used to go to his every week for a couple days to look after him help with the shopping or owt else he needed doing, born in 1957 he went St.Marks school and went by Bernie and Two Pint Tony when he went to pubs such as the bluebell in the 90s.
He moved to Bolton in the year 2000 to look after my Nan after she moved there and never came back to Manchester, other than City and his music he was really into his darts (playing it) cricket and golf.

Never met a more common as muck down to earth person in my life, he was very punk in attitude gave zero fucks what anyone thought of him, he taught me to mostly be the same and I do try my best to go on my own path.
I'm blessed to have had him in my life and I'm gutted I won't be spending more time with him, missing those days already big time this was me and him when we won the treble...
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Funnily enough I actually cried that night for the first time in close to a decade and even posted that I wasn't ashamed of it on the post match thread, the tears wasn't just for us winning but because my Dad should've actually died a month earlier than that and we got to see this together.

Because of that fact even though I was there for many of our trophy wins in since the takeover, this night with my Dad meant more to me than everything else I could've gone to Istanbul for that final but didn't, just so that I could watch us finalise that treble win with the legend that is my Dad.

Maybe it's because he hung on a lot longer than expected and has been in hospital for extended stays over the last few years, still though I don't understand why I haven't cried there's been days I've zoned out since, there's been no tears though and I'm not sure there will be it's been incredibly stressful at times but no tears.
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I read every word of this beautiful tribute to your Dad, you clearly love him very much.

You sound in shock to me. Tears will come when you least expect them.

My Dad was 67 when he died too. I remember after he died how stressful it was trying to plan the funeral. It was hideous and I hated every moment. But it served a purpose, a funeral marks something. I hope when you get his ashes and you gather together (with all the family tensions and things said and unsaid which it brings) it helps.

I also remember being devastated for years after. I didn’t think it was normal how devastated I was. But he had been sick a while and it had been difficult for years before he died. I remember standing at the kitchen window and thinking clearly “I will never get over this”. And it that moment something shifted, the devastation seemed to lift. Acceptance, but not that he had died just how much I loved him.

You are on your own journey and it sounds like your Dad was a character! It’s a lot to process and you can’t force it.

Take care x
 
My father died last month aged 94 from Alzheimer's. I felt happy for him that he'd finally been released from that cruel disease and he told me before he lost all his marbles that's his wish also.
I'm just remembering the good times we had and that he had a great life until near the end.
I feel your pain, we're all different and which ever way we deal with our parents passing is ok and special to us. Good luck.
 
Cheers for the comments all... it was a great send off.

I've been managing well so far but I think what was troubling me most at the time is I know I've not had any kids yet, that if someday I do he won't get to meet them personally but they'll definitely know about him, I'll try to be just like him in regards to some of his very best qualities and they'll learn life properly.

He wasn't too well for a few years like I said and I was quite stressed with everything going on when I posted, I've just been taking it easy and only focused on myself and family what's been in front of me this past week.
If anything my mood has improved a good bit since I made the post, maybe I just needed to just write it all down somewhere, what I was feeling but I felt better on the day even leading up to it.
In a strange peculiar way I felt almost at peace with everything I'm gonna miss our time together but I know he was suffering a lot, he had a dead good send off lots of stories from his mates I loved hearing them.

I've more been smiling since at the thought of him more than anything there's some funny memories of him, even a video resurfaced one where we asked him to say hello to all the nephews and nieces, from an old cousin group chat they all love him and wanted a reply.

His reaction to them which they all loved, with his humour loudly was one of his favourite sayings...
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A get to fuck, followed by his top larger than life laugh which is why we had it written on a chalkboard for him on Saturday, his laugh was a proper mint one just hearing it is enough to brighten a mood and bring a smile to those who loved him.

Cheers for your comments honestly blues a good few of them were very relatable to me, I'm sure others will find posts relatable too depending on their circumstances... I loved reading different people's perspectives so cheers.

Whether I cry or not at some point I know it doesn't define what I or others feel, for someone who is grieving I'd defo agree with most to do it your own way to just go with the flow.

C.T.W.D. and beyond.
 
RIP to your Dad and glad he had a good send off.
I lost my Dad a couple years ago, i can still hear his voice all the time and still can't believe his gone. losing a parent is a tough one to take and will forever hit in waves, just always remember the good times. Sounds like he was a proper Blue and was very proud of you.
 
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