The last time there was a flood warning near my house was boxing day 2015. I know we played cos i was in a boozer next to the Irwell warming up for it and the fire brigade kick us out. It was insane outside, hundreds of fucking loons stood on the bridge waiting for it to collapse. A footbridge further up blew up and there were 'bears in the air' and blue lights everywhere. Stood in the middle of it, the wife phoned me from home asking if all was ok and should we be moving our furniture upstairs?
''No love, it's fine. Don't worry about it.''
With a worried wife, home in danger of flooding and a raging torrent full of old cars, caravans and trees in front of me i took the pragmatci decision to fuck off to a boozer at the top of a hill.
Can't remember if we won that day but if we did then its an omen, or something else equally mysterious.