I think, for me, yesterday was a new low in being a City fan. I have had a season ticket since 1988, and despite living in London for all that time, travel home and away religiously - even the early European 'glamour' games at TNS, Gocklin, Lokeren, Posnan and the dead rubber at Santander.
I personally subsidise Virgin and now Avanti, and my long suffering family think I need to see a specialist for my addiction to following my Club.
I sit in the front few rows of CBL3 and yesterday was just shocking - and yes...we all know the reasons why - pricing, ticket policy changes, tourists, Pep's current brand of slow, often dull football, etc - all completely fair and true.
But I just don't understand the silence, and really don't give a fuck about any other PL club's home atmosphere. We used to be better than this, and yes, we all think every game was rocking at Maine Road - but it was a damn sight better than yesterday - even in the worse of times.
I know some on here don't like 'complainers' - and my user name tells it's own story - but for the first time in 40 years, having ran to the stadium from a delayed Avanti train and then having to run back to get the 5.30 to Euston - I thought to myself - I am not enjoying this.
I am appalled at myself for thinking this - as City is so important to me - to my mental health, my friends, my community (and yes I do have a very full and wonderful life outside football) - but I am just so disappointed with yes, some of the lazy fans who fuck off early, arrive late, don't seem to give a shit - but mostly with the Club.
The contract between 'fan' and 'Club' was broken long ago - but the acceleration in the journey to a soulless corporate provider of 'content' for someone to stream in Malaysia, has been insane over the last 2-3 years. The Club simply don't give a flying fuck about us - and maybe never have - but they pretended to give a shit a lot better in the past.
I suppose I have been in denial that it was never just about the money (with a little bit of UAE Sportswashing) - but sadly when; the pricing and ticket policy drives out loyalty, when the club has to ship in bus loads of United supporting school kids to wave their iPhones, when the official Club shop sells half and half scarves, when Phil Foden in the middle of a game needs to encourage the East Stand to make some noise, when the new stand dissolves in a corporate debacle and when there are more tourists in the away end than season ticket holders - you know the show is over.
I was in the US last week and went to an NFL game - it was fun as a tourist, in a Disney/Las Vegas sense (yes - I am a hypocrite and guilty as charged!) - but it's a horrific vision of our future.
I am happy to try and fight to keep football as true to it's community and it's fans, and there are some things that are welcome in today's world - less racism, less pointless violence, better accessibility, etc. But stepping forward doesn't mean you have to gut the soul.
As for 1894 - god bless them for doing their very best. And I hope, on BM, we all remember that everyone has a right to a different opinion - and we are all only here for one thing...our love of our club.