being young and having a free house.

[Stillsy]

Come on everyone time to tell some stories on this friday afternoon.

Everyone of us will have been left at home for a week while the parents are on holiday so what funny/naughty stuff you lot done while youv had a free house?

When this girl mate of mine had one she threw a party, the morning after she woke up to find the carpet on the stairs had been ripped off from top to bottom, one lad had drank her mam and dads 250quid bottle of champagne and she found her phone in the frisge in the butter tub!

 

[Muzza]

I had it quite good when I was growing up, my family had some land next to the house and they bought a static caravan for me, it was a cheap shitter only £400 got it before it was scrapped but me and my mates didn't half enjoy ourselves. The so called 'Van' was where we ended up after every drinking session, if we were lucky we had some ladies who for some reason thought it was a great thing, probably the beer, bet they thought they had been abducted when they awoke the next morning.

Anyway there was one time which really had me laughing, we had been on a heavy drinking session all morning and my cousin decided it was a clever thing to drink lots of Vodka straight. Eventually he passed out and we decided to move on and leave him to rest, we went to my local pub 'The Old House At Home', we stayed in there all night and returned to the van in the early hours. On approaching the caravan door way I noticed something was wrong, a foul smell hit in the face, I could taste shit in my mouth. I opened the door to find my cousin squatting on the carpet with a log the size of my arm swaying from his ass, I froze. I didn't know to laugh or start shouting, by this time my cousin had turned his drunk head towards the door and saw me and a few of my mates gazing at him in his prime.

He gave a cheeky smile and said, "Alright mate" with a slur.

Anyway I spent most of the night on my hands and knees scrubbing shit out of the carpet, at the time it was a nightmare but now it one of he funniest things that has happened to me.

 

[Cellarite]

my mam and dad had a caravan in wales where they'd escape to every school holidays with my sister. i was banned from having my girlfriend at the time to sleep at ours, despite being 18. anyway, off they go to the caravan for the six weeks holidays and tell me they'll be back for a day in about three weeks before disappearring again.
obviously, while they were gone she was not only sleeping over, but we were at it hammer and tongues every night in my mam and dad's bed. during a particularly vigorous session, i snapped my banjo string and lost some blood. i got up quick enough to stop most of it going on the bed sheets but there was still a little patch about the size of a 50p in the middle of the bed.
my ex stripped the bed and said she'd wash them for me and re-make the bed before the folks got back. she had loaded them into the washer when the phone rang. i answered it and it was my mam saying they were coming back that day so make sure the house is tidy. i asked her what time they were due back and she said "about 20 minutes, we're in warrington. we've stopped to get some milk."
panic stricken, we whipped the bed sheets back out of the washer and re-made the bed with jizz and blood on them. nothing was ever said.

dad, if you're reading this, i'm sorry. we did have a good day at the semi final against the rags though didn't we?