Biggest regret and why.

[BlueMoonRisin’]

I'm not generally one for regrets, but I regret my marriage failing every single day - and I don't believe that will ever change.

Same here GDM. I regret it mostly too as I've since been the part time father to my girls when most loving yet estranged part time parents feel like they have spent the years on the outside looking in. That said, I have done my best for my girls and spent as much quality time that I have been able to have with them.

 

[Deleted member 13905]

mine was hurting my two boys as I went through a divorce, we are ok now but I will regret that to my dying day.

i never regret anything, it is not in my make-up.
instead, i try very hard to learn from mistakes i have made & address any imbalances.

try to picture it in a more positive way, blue.
if you hadn't hurt them you wouldn't have learned from the situation...

you say that you and your boys are okay now.
if you hadn't hurt them when you did,
you might've done it later in life to a more devastating degree.
if you hadn't hurt them when you did,
you might never have realised just how much they mean to you.

as a result of hurting them you'll likely be a better father to them.
surely that is greater than maybe just being an average father for your whole life,
which is what you may have been if you hadn't hurt them,
if you see what i mean.

regret is a very negative thing.
dwelling on past errors is unhealthy.

i find it better to move on from things
and think of what's ahead not behind.

fuck me, i've turned into an agony aunt.

Spoiler

 

[CityStu]

Going to university when I did and pissing away the opportunity.

After breezing through school and college it was the obvious thing to do but I should have taken time out of education and worked a shit job for a year or two to learn to appreciate and make the most of the opportunity I had.

I have a big work ethic now that I simply didn't have back then. If I'd approached university like I approach my work I'd have done very well and probably be working in a job I love rather than one that pays the bills.

I think this is a common problem with pressure on teenagers to go to university when it's either not right for them or it's not the right time for them. Colleges and schools are only interested in the percentage of leavers who stay in education.

It would have really benefitted me if someone had advised me to take a year out and learn what hard work is and what it's like to stand on your own two feet with bills to pay, and the only way to pay them is through working hard.

Similar, but I'd have chosen a different degree subject. Breezed through school, college and even a year of uni in maths because I was good at it but found in my later uni years that I had no real interest in it. Wish I'd done a subject I liked but found more difficult to build that work ethic immediately.

 

[bluemoon32]

Believing my Ex-Wife when she said she'd never turn our children against me, i always refused to slaughter their Mother to my children but she decided to go down the c*nt route and it's caused my relationship with my children to be nowhere near what it should be.

 

[Wretched Vengeance]

Not wanting children. Never wanted them and then the missus was unable to conceive naturally when I suddenly felt differently about it.

IVF was the only option and now she will be 19 weeks pregnant tomorrow.

Could have saved myself thousands of pounds in Fertility Treatment had I not been so selfish - only messing, the money doesn't matter a jot.

And, it's only going to get more expensive as we are expecting twins. :)

 

[gordondaviesmoustache]

Not wanting children. Never wanted them and then the missus was unable to conceive naturally when I suddenly felt differently about it.

IVF was the only option and now she will be 19 weeks pregnant tomorrow.

Could have saved myself thousands of pounds in Fertility Treatment had I not been so selfish - only messing, the money doesn't matter a jot.

And, it's only going to get more expensive as we are expecting twins. :)

Congratulations, pal.

 

[BlueMoonRisin’]

Wow BMR, reading that and could'a been me. I sometimes see a girl from my class from years ago and she agrees that with few exceptions the teachers we had were absolute shite. The girls dad was a teacher there at the time! Teachers then just hated kids.
I went to a parents evening with my daughter last week and thank gawd times have changed.

Because my teachers were mostly bullies, I hated them and the system. Turned me into a rebel that squandered my school years. I was also a prankster and the class clown, forever looking for ways to get through the tedium of getting punished rather than educated.

I remember one day in Metalwork being bored so I said to my mate whilst he was pissing about on the furnace that we should have a laugh. -

"Hey Dave, Let's burn some stuff on the furnace, be a good laugh"..... "Yeah ok mate, what you reckon?"...... "Leave it with me".... I found a big tin of flux, took it to Dave and he said "Throw it on lad, see If it burns".... So I did and there was a big fire ball that burned the gloss ceiling. "fuckin' smart, go and see what else we can burn"

So off I went looking around and I noticed that In the teachers drawer was a rather nice looking silver compass and protractor set in a blue silk and crushed velvet case with the teachers name printed on the case in honour for passing his degree.

"Hey Dave look what I've found in Rigsby's drawer"..... "Fuck him, throw it on lad"..... "Erm, not sure mate, think I should put it back". The devilment had me throw It on and we both smirked and giggled uncontrollably as the thing burned till the molten Silver melted into the coals.

Before the end of class, the teacher would always count the stuff he had lent out, He noticed his prized compass and protractor set
was missing..... "Right boys, no one leaves till my Compass and Protractor set Is returned".. A few started to look for It but myself and Dave Just looked at each other with a rather concerned look on our previously smug faces.

10 minutes had past when he barked "right lads, unless It's returned immediately, you're all In detention. I thought I better do the decent thing and own up.

"Erm, Sir, It was me who took it, sorry Sir"........ "Well do the decent thing and return it boy, then you can all get off" ....... "Erm, sorry Sir I can't"... "What you mean boy, you can't, where is it?"......... "I threw it on the furnace Sir and burnt it"(class nervously giggling In amusement)...... "You did what?. Come here lad"... He grabbed hold of me by the scruff of the neck and marched me to the coat hooks, picking me up by the throat and hanging my collar on the coat hooks, He then woman slapped me several times before releasing me, He was furious and rightly so, I wouldn't mind, but he was one of the better teachers I quite liked and I regretted causing him to be upset at what I had done...

 

[Millwallawayveteran1988]

Same here GDM. I regret it mostly too as I've since been the part time father to my girls when most loving yet estranged part time parents feel like they have spent the years on the outside looking in. That said, I have done my best for my girls and spent as much quality time that I have been able to have with them.

Never see it as part time. It's not. A father is someone who takes an active part in their child's life. Some parents who split up may not see their children every day but they are still better parents than many who are there permanently. I wouldn't class people who work in the forces, away on oil rigs or work away week after week as part time and I don't see the difference really.

Mine is not going to University. I reckon I missed out on four years of getting pissed and shagging loads of women by making the wrong choice at 18! Of course I was so George Clooney like that the above would have been a formality! I also wouldn't have ended up in an industry that has been very questionable in terms of its ethics at times.

 

[bennyboy]

Not going to York away.

 

[Le Havre Oswald]

Mum got run over when i was 17, which led me to have extreme anxiety which in turn led to social anxiety as i never went out. Had it from 17 till about 26. Still got it slightly now. Was too embarrassed to go to the doctors.