Boarding Schools

[schtipps]

i've been in the forces for some years now and im comtemplating sending my son to boarding school because we cannot give him the educational stability he needs.

Can anyone give me any advice on the downfalls of such a move. I did not have the chance myself, but realise the potential it can realise.

We are working class people who only want the best for our kids, but do not want to turn them into toffee nose wankers.

 

[scorer]

schtipps.

I was a forces kid and was brought up mainly in germany (Kings School) and Berkshire.

I feel bitter that I was not sent to boarding school and wished my parents had been tougher with me. Basically they offered me the opportunity to go and I said no, and unfortunately I won the day. I moved secondary school 4 times in five years with last move being at the christmas before my o levels. I didn't care then. But my god, had I known then what i know now (we all say the same i know) i would have gone to boarding school.

Without being judgemental and stating what is best for your children, i suggest you sit them down and discuss it at length.

It is very difficult for kids today anyway so they really do need the support and guidance from their parents.

Thats my view FWIW!

 

[mat]

No harm in wanting the best for your kids.

Can't see many of the boarding school types on here TBF.

 

[schtipps]

schtipps.

I was a forces kid and was brought up mainly in germany (Kings School) and Berkshire.

I feel bitter that I was not sent to boarding school and wished my parents had been tougher with me. Basically they offered me the opportunity to go and I said no, and unfortunately I won the day. I moved secondary school 4 times in five years with last move being at the christmas before my o levels. I didn't care then. But my god, had I known then what i know now (we all say the same i know) i would have gone to boarding school.

Without being judgemental and stating what is best for your children, i suggest you sit them down and discuss it at length.

It is very difficult for kids today anyway so they really do need the support and guidance from their parents.

Thats my view FWIW!

I realised some time ago that theres a reason why the officers send their kids to boarding school and thats because we can't be there for them like normal parents. It breaks my heart to send him away so young but i know its best for him in the long run. These schools put our educational system to shame, their brilliant, but at 5K per term, im not suprised the majority dont get the chance.

 

[schtipps]

No harm in wanting the best for your kids.

Can't see many of the boarding school types on here TBF.

Im not that type myself, nor are my family, thats why i'm asking?

 

[Trig]

schtipps.

I was a forces kid and was brought up mainly in germany (Kings School) and Berkshire.

I feel bitter that I was not sent to boarding school and wished my parents had been tougher with me. Basically they offered me the opportunity to go and I said no, and unfortunately I won the day. I moved secondary school 4 times in five years with last move being at the christmas before my o levels. I didn't care then. But my god, had I known then what i know now (we all say the same i know) i would have gone to boarding school.

Without being judgemental and stating what is best for your children, i suggest you sit them down and discuss it at length.

It is very difficult for kids today anyway so they really do need the support and guidance from their parents.

Thats my view FWIW!

Almost exactly the same as me, I was lucky though because I was just into second year at secondary school when my dad got out of the Army. I got stability at the end of the day, but it came at a price. The curriculum that they were using in Berlin was out of sync with the school I ended up going to, so instead of being in all the top sets (as I was in Berlin) I was 3-6 months behind the rest of the year and when it came to the time where you were divided into the GCSE groups at the start of third year I got lumped in with the reprobates and people that end up on Jeremy Kyle.

I loved living abroad with my parents and think I am richer for the experience.

My advice to you Sctipps is whatever you do, do it as early as possible so your kids get a chance to settle into the rhythm of boarding school. My dad was away for months at a time doing the whole action man thing, but I never resented him for it because it just made it better when he was around.

Trig

 

[Prestwich_Blue]

After her GCSE's my daughter wanted to go to boarding school. She was fed up of her old school where she'd been under a lot of pressure and didn't have much of a social life, plus the situation at home was difficult and affecting her. I knew some people who had been to boarding school and they seem to have enjoyed it. They made lifelong friends and just had a good time generally.

We looked around and found one that seemed to be just right but she couldn't settle and went back to her old school. The school did everything they could to help but there were one or two issues that she had that they couldn't do much about.

They're not all for "posh" people and I believe there is at least one school (in Kent) that only takes service chldren. Many take day pupils as well. You need to do your research carefully. There are a number of web-sites to look at and a company called Gabbitas can help. Their initial services are free but you have to pay for more detailed assistance.

You need to take into account a number of things so need to do your research thoroughly then go and see your shortlisted schools.

Some have quite a heavy religious ethos so if that's not your thing then you can eliminate them. Some are quite traditional and some more relaxed. You might want a school in a certain geographical area. You need to see the quality of the accomodation as that will be important to your son and also get an idea of the pastoral care they offer. The quality of the education will also presumably be important, depending on your son's abilities. If he's bright, you want somewhere that will stretch him but you don't want somewhere that will leave him to drift if he isn't quite so academic. Look at the range of sporting and social activities; you might want somewhere with a Cadet force for example.

Some good ones I came across in the north included Sedbergh (in N Yorks), Windermere St Annes, Rossall (in Fleetwood) and Queen Ethelburgas in York. Looking at these will give you some idea what to expect.

However, I would say the two most important things are:
1) Check the number of day/weekly pupils vs the number of boarders. You want a school where the majority stay all the time rather than one where there's only a few at weekend.

2) Don't take this the worng way but it is very important. Many boarding schools rely on large numbers of foreigners, from Eastern Europe and Asia particularly, to balance the books. Mixing with people from all over the world is part of the boarding school experience and a very positive one but you have to ensure that's in proportion. One of the issues my daughter had was that the vast majority of the girls boarding were Chinese (and straight from China) and they tended to stick together and had limited command of English. There was only one other English girl in her year boarding (daughter of an Army officer incidentally) and a German girl. So lessons had to go quite slowly for a while and the Chinese girls were miles behind her anyway so she was bored academically. I would say that was the single biggest thing that affected her, plus they had to stay in their own rooms during "prep" (homework) for a couple of hours a night whereas she probably would have been better off doing the work in a group.

If you do your research and take your time to pick the right school then it should be a very rewarding experience for him. If he doesn't like it after giving it a fair go then at least you tried. Good luck.

 

[Televators]

My sister and I were forces kids and went to boarding school.

I believe a lot can depend on the type of child. Is he quite independent?

I loved the place so would definitely recommend it, but my sister hated it. She is a bit of a wuss though.

 

[schtipps]

Thanks for the input, its much appreciated.

Yeah my boy is quite independant and i think he will enjoy it once he gets settled.

Incidentally, i visited Sedberg last weekend and thought it was a great school, its now on the shortlist. Unfortunately the Headmaster is a Rag.

 

[goatfood]

schtipps.

I was a forces kid and was brought up mainly in germany (Kings School) and Berkshire.

I feel bitter that I was not sent to boarding school and wished my parents had been tougher with me. Basically they offered me the opportunity to go and I said no, and unfortunately I won the day. I moved secondary school 4 times in five years with last move being at the christmas before my o levels. I didn't care then. But my god, had I known then what i know now (we all say the same i know) i would have gone to boarding school.

Without being judgemental and stating what is best for your children, i suggest you sit them down and discuss it at length.

It is very difficult for kids today anyway so they really do need the support and guidance from their parents.

Thats my view FWIW!

Almost exactly the same as me, I was lucky though because I was just into second year at secondary school when my dad got out of the Army. I got stability at the end of the day, but it came at a price. The curriculum that they were using in Berlin was out of sync with the school I ended up going to, so instead of being in all the top sets (as I was in Berlin) I was 3-6 months behind the rest of the year and when it came to the time where you were divided into the GCSE groups at the start of third year I got lumped in with the reprobates and people that end up on Jeremy Kyle.

I loved living abroad with my parents and think I am richer for the experience.

My advice to you Sctipps is whatever you do, do it as early as possible so your kids get a chance to settle into the rhythm of boarding school. My dad was away for months at a time doing the whole action man thing, but I never resented him for it because it just made it better when he was around.

Trig

You know whats best for your kids schtipps but fwiw here's my story....a slightly different scenario

My dad joined the navy when I was 8, my siblings were 6, 4 and 2 respectively. When I reached 10 our family moved to the place he was most likely to be posted and this is where we stayed for the next 7 years. I had previously attended 3 different primary schools and never had a problem settling in.
When the time came for secondary school I was given the option of attending boarding school and decided against it. From that point my dad worked away from home and depending on how far away it was we saw him at weekends, sometimes as infrequently as once a month. Ironically we actually saw less of him during the 4 years he was based at 'home', and obviously very little of him when he was sitting in the south atlantic during the Faulklands conflict
The year of my a-levels, my sister's GCSEs, he was posted abroad and mum & dad moved to the middle east with my brothers (aged 13 and 11 at the time) who settled in very well to the local english speaking school for ex-pats, and I know that they value the experience which that gave them enormously. My sister and I remained in the UK and stayed in a B&B, not as bad as it sounds, while we completed our exams after which my sister joined them.
I honestly say now that I wouldn't have changed it for the world, though it was difficult at the time. I do think the key is a stable secondary education though and I'm sure my siblings and I am more rounded individuals for this experience than we would otherwise have been. I have to acknowledge that this is unlikely to work for every family though.
Only you know whats best for your family and your children but I will add that most kids are more likely to get the best out of their secondary education if they are involved in the decisions and understand why those decisions are being made. Kids are not stupid after all and 'right your off to boarding school' could in some circumstances create more of a problem in the future. I know I am very happy with the education I received as a result of being allowed to 'own' it. Obviously the quality of the schools available to you will also have a bearing on this and in that respect I was also very lucky.

All the best to you and your family in this. It won't be long before my brother will be pondering the same questions as you are now with his children, he has moved his family over the summer and his elder daughter has found this new term at a new school fairly unsettling.

 

[schtipps]

Thanks for sharing your experience.

We move every two years though and as a result my boy has attended five different schools in as many years because if he didn't settle well in one, we would move him to another (usually better) school, once we got to know the area.

 

[Trig]

From my experience of moving schools it was always a case of same faces different surroundings because most of the time when we moved, the vast majority of my friends moved at the same time. Obviously there were always a few exceptions and over the years I lost touch with some good friends but there was never a shortage of people I knew. From that aspect I never had a problem settling into a new school.