Celebrity Deathlist 2017

Keith Chegwin: Eaten by an escaped lion.

Janice Long: tries to save her brother Keith and is eaten by the same lion.

Uri Geller: forgets he's a charlatan and agrees to enter a shark pool, with only his mind keeping them away with telepathic waves, or whatever the **** pretends he can do. Turns out it doesn't work, who knew, dies in feeding frenzy and much screaming and thrashing. All they could find was a single, previously bent, spoon.

Katie Hopkins: Obesity. after her getting fat experiment, she develops addiction to vanilla slices and balloons up to 31st and dies of massive cardiac arrest whilst watching old footage of unfettered immigration.

Donal Trump: buried alive after part of a wall he was inspecting collapses on him, however the wall being that high and that deep, makes it impossible to reach him in time and besides, it was siesta time for the builders and they were too busy raping the catering staff to care.

Bill Pence: He was up a ladder at the same part of the wall, checking the straight edges. It is believed both were entombed in the same space. When the builders get back from raping, selling drugs and playing those giant guitars, we might find out. More later

Cannon and Ball. Suicide pact. After watching 12 hours of their old shows back to back, the utter futility of their abysmally, abysmal act, finally hits home. It was the only option left to them and both jumped off Blackpool Tower, holding hands to the delight of the assembled crowd below.

Lord sugar. Drank poisoned tea given to him as an attempt to stop The Apprentice as it is forever. A new programme will not have them thinking up a whole load of shite then arguing. No, from the off they are given machetes and put into room until only one is left, then that one is taken out and shot.

It will be hosted by a rotation of Broadmoor inmates and a topless choir. Mixed sex, so everybody can enjoy it. I'm not a monster.

Crocodile Dundee. After trying to introduce his shit films for the 215th million time in interviews, in the pub, at the dentist etc, Australia brings back hanging for a once only event. They took his knife off him so he couldn't escape. They're dropping him into a pool of crocs just to make sure.

I'm nipping down the bookies to see what odds I can get for all that happening. Cert.
 
Magicpole said:
Keith Chegwin: Eaten by an escaped lion.

Janice Long: tries to save her brother Keith and is eaten by the same lion.

Uri Geller: forgets he's a charlatan and agrees to enter a shark pool, with only his mind keeping them away with telepathic waves, or whatever the **** pretends he can do. Turns out it doesn't work, who knew, dies in feeding frenzy and much screaming and thrashing. All they could find was a single, previously bent, spoon.

Katie Hopkins: Obesity. after her getting fat experiment, she develops addiction to vanilla slices and balloons up to 31st and dies of massive cardiac arrest whilst watching old footage of unfettered immigration.

Donal Trump: buried alive after part of a wall he was inspecting collapses on him, however the wall being that high and that deep, makes it impossible to reach him in time and besides, it was siesta time for the builders and they were too busy raping the catering staff to care.

Bill Pence: He was up a ladder at the same part of the wall, checking the straight edges. It is believed both were entombed in the same space. When the builders get back from raping, selling drugs and playing those giant guitars, we might find out. More later

Cannon and Ball. Suicide pact. After watching 12 hours of their old shows back to back, the utter futility of their abysmally, abysmal act, finally hits home. It was the only option left to them and both jumped off Blackpool Tower, holding hands to the delight of the assembled crowd below.

Lord sugar. Drank poisoned tea given to him as an attempt to stop The Apprentice as it is forever. A new programme will not have them thinking up a whole load of shite then arguing. No, from the off they are given machetes and put into room until only one is left, then that one is taken out and shot.

It will be hosted by a rotation of Broadmoor inmates and a topless choir. Mixed sex, so everybody can enjoy it. I'm not a monster.

Crocodile Dundee. After trying to introduce his shit films for the 215th million time in interviews, in the pub, at the dentist etc, Australia brings back hanging for a once only event. They took his knife off him so he couldn't escape. They're dropping him into a pool of crocs just to make sure.

I'm nipping down the bookies to see what odds I can get for all that happening. Cert.
Click to expand...
Is Donal Trump something to do with Donald Trump?
 
Magicpole said:
Keith Chegwin: Eaten by an escaped lion.

Janice Long: tries to save her brother Keith and is eaten by the same lion.

Uri Geller: forgets he's a charlatan and agrees to enter a shark pool, with only his mind keeping them away with telepathic waves, or whatever the **** pretends he can do. Turns out it doesn't work, who knew, dies in feeding frenzy and much screaming and thrashing. All they could find was a single, previously bent, spoon.

Katie Hopkins: Obesity. after her getting fat experiment, she develops addiction to vanilla slices and balloons up to 31st and dies of massive cardiac arrest whilst watching old footage of unfettered immigration.

Donal Trump: buried alive after part of a wall he was inspecting collapses on him, however the wall being that high and that deep, makes it impossible to reach him in time and besides, it was siesta time for the builders and they were too busy raping the catering staff to care.

Bill Pence: He was up a ladder at the same part of the wall, checking the straight edges. It is believed both were entombed in the same space. When the builders get back from raping, selling drugs and playing those giant guitars, we might find out. More later

Cannon and Ball. Suicide pact. After watching 12 hours of their old shows back to back, the utter futility of their abysmally, abysmal act, finally hits home. It was the only option left to them and both jumped off Blackpool Tower, holding hands to the delight of the assembled crowd below.

Lord sugar. Drank poisoned tea given to him as an attempt to stop The Apprentice as it is forever. A new programme will not have them thinking up a whole load of shite then arguing. No, from the off they are given machetes and put into room until only one is left, then that one is taken out and shot.

It will be hosted by a rotation of Broadmoor inmates and a topless choir. Mixed sex, so everybody can enjoy it. I'm not a monster.

Crocodile Dundee. After trying to introduce his shit films for the 215th million time in interviews, in the pub, at the dentist etc, Australia brings back hanging for a once only event. They took his knife off him so he couldn't escape. They're dropping him into a pool of crocs just to make sure.

I'm nipping down the bookies to see what odds I can get for all that happening. Cert.
Click to expand...
Lol
 
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