Chat up lines

[Le Havre Oswald]

If I'm a pain in your arse, we can just add more lube.


Your eyes are like spanners - every time you look at me my nuts tighten

 

[183sash]

can you keep an eye on my pint while i go for a shit ?

 

[clairepartyring]

Nice legs, what time do they open?

Were you by any chance in ''Loaf'' bar deansgate locks a couple of weeks ago???? Somebody used that one on me, then on my mate !!!!! If it was you, you were very heavily under the influence!!!

 

[boywiththeblues]

Your eyes are like spanners - every time you look at me my nuts tighten

I swear to god, i got my hole after saying this line

 

[wearethesouthstand]

"scuse me love, do you know the way to oldham"

then grab their baps

"see, thats the way to hold them"

 

[not my fault!]

let's not turn this rape into a murder..

Woah it's not rap it's just suprise sex!

My offering would be: Alright treackle would ya like sumfink a little bit sticky? *in cockerny accent*

 

[rushts]

"excuse me, would you like to dance?"
well f*ck off to the dance floor while i chat your mate up.

 

[the kippax wall]

'Do you support City?'
'No!'
'Well, go and get fucked, you ugly boot!!'

 

[Sultana of Brunei]

My magic watch says you aren't wearing any underwear!

Oh, you are? It must be an hour fast.