couple of jokes

[sixlashes]

man a bit randy say,s to wife"do you fancy a bit of role play"
her; like what
him:rape!
her: you can fuck off
him: hold on Im not ready yet.


man looks over at his misses on the sofa ( he can see her panties) and says "you wearing crotchless panties" ....yes, she says.....thank fuck for that, I thought the sofa had burst

 

[Franny Lee's Barrel Chest]

Woman comes to husband wearing crotchless panties and says "Do you want to eat this?" pointing between her legs.

"No thanks", replies the husband, "Look what it did to your panties"...

 

[TTTCITYBHOY]

Wife,feeling horny,says to hubby "you want me to slip into something nice",,he replies "how about a fukn coma"

 

[Seosa]

Wife,feeling horny,says to hubby "you want me to slip into something nice",,he replies "how about a fukn coma"

Lmfao

 

[Cellarite]

battered woman goes to doctor to ask if he has any advice to stop her husband twatting her every day on his return from work.

doctor says "just before he's due in make yourself a brew. as he comes in the gate, take a swig and swish it around your mouth for about half an hour"

woman is shocked as she's never heard the like but agrees to give it a try as she hates the beatings.

two weeks later she's done this tea-swishing thing every day and he's not layed a finger on her.

she returns to the doctor and says "it's worked, what a marvellous remedy, is it some magic spell or hypnotism or something?"

"no" says the doc. "it just shows the benefit of keeping your fucking mouth shut once in a while."

 

[Barcon]

Little billy goes to his grans for the weekend, at some point he sees her getting out of the shower.
Whats that gran? he asks, pointing between her legs.
That's my beaver, she replies.
A couple of days later he sees his Mum getting out of the shower.
What's that Mum? he say's, again pointing between her legs.
Why that's my beaver Billy. To which he replies, "Oh, grans got one of those, but hers is dead.... the tongues hanging out.

 

[foxy]

France

 

[joe mclean]

France

dont forget england

 

[MCFC BOB]

 

[foxy]

Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Merseyside?
A: Because God couldn't find three wise men and a virgin

Q: What's the first question at a Liverpool pub quiz night ?
A: What are you looking at?