Thanks bud, but I'm not self-employed mate (technically I am)- already been looked in to by my accountants - I am a director of my own company - a one man-band employee of it who pays PAYE.
I do not qualify for anything - HMRC basically admitted I fall between the cracks as I would get 80 per cent of my regular £800 a month salary for three months but I can't really furlough myself as I would not be allowed to do any work - hence my 25 year company would crash - I can just about earn the same amount that the HMRC would eventually backdate to me.
The vast majority of my earnings come from dividends each month that can be left to pay after liabilities.
We don't qualify for any benefits either because apparently the private pension that I have had since 19 (and can't be realised for another 26 years) is also factored into savings, which is fucked up. I have also been putting money by for the kids' university one day (stupidly in a joint account with my wife)
It's different circumstances for everyone, I'm sure there are plenty also in my situation. Nobody is going to take on extra debt via the assistance from banks in this climate, certainly not small business, freelancers or one-man-bands.
I don't trade in goods, I trade in my own efforts and intellectual property. When I stop, the business stops.