Dementia. a question?

[Hez]

I can only back up what the others have said. My friends Mum started with this. At first she became confused about whether she had taken her tablets (she was diabetic). It escalated to the point where she would literally be ringing every minute asking if she'd had them, even though my Friend and her Husband and two carers went in everyday and made sure she took them. If they told her she had taken them she would get aggresive and start arguing she hadn't. She started swinging for the carers. It was a truly dreadful thing to see as she had been such a strong Woman all her life. If the Authorities have told you your Mum needs residential care then that's the road you need to go down. My Friend was left for too long without help, eventually her Mum ended up in a diabetic coma as she was putting her meals in the Freezer rather than eating them, she refused to eat while anyone was there. My Friend was distraught and eaten up with guilt but she couldn't be at her Mum's 24/7 and that's what she needed.

 

[r.soleofsalford]

My mother has been diagnosed as having dementia and we have been told she has to live in residential care. She is 68 years old, quite youngish for this appalling infliction.
What i want to know is this, when the health authority decide she has to live in residential care is that the case closed, cos this is really tearing me apart. She deserves so much better than this.

my dad was diagnosed with mix dementia 4 years ago he is now 89. he recently had a fall and went into hospital. they wouldnt let him out to live on his own, so he stayed in hospital for 12 weeks while they sorted out the care package we would need in place to look after him at home.

we knew he was disruptive on the ward, but thought we could calm him down once we had him home. 6 days later (Thursday just gone) reluctantly i had to put him in a bupa home on an emi ward.

i found out even with the best intentions, this disease can be far to much for any family to cope with. over the years the disease picked up apace starting very slowly but picking up speed more and more till we reached the position we have found our selves in.

my dad changed from a loving one parent family man and grandad in a person i didnt recognise as my dad and someone who neither knew where he was or knew who we were.

he said some terrible thing non of which were his fault. he called me a twat that was probably one of his more lucid moments. he told my wife to fuck off. but these were thing we shrugged off, but the violence was scaring my wife also 37 hours of shouting out has a draining effect on people who still have either to work the next day or to look after him.

as hard as it was to put my dad away, its made not the slightest difference to him. he didnt know were he was here. and he doesnt know where he is now. he also didnt know and still doesnt know who is tending for him.

awful decisions are sometimes the only rational ones to make

 

[fallowfieldflyer]

My mum as dementia,probably started about 2 years ago.We have seen a decline in her condition very quicky just recently.My dad is still looking after her 24/7 at the moment but we have just arranged for her to go to a day care centre twice a week (starting today).But she was taken ill on saturday night with low blood pressure and a heart murmur and so is in hospital at the moment,so we have had to cancel the day care centre for now !.
My dad as had to sleep at the front door because my mum would get up in the middle of the night and try and get out of the house,we have put bolts on the door now and a alarm.
Reading all these stories on here breaks my heart because i know that this desease takes no prisoners.
She also as suffered two major strokes and also has to have dyalasis three times a week for kidney failure.
My mum lost a baby girl at birth many years ago,she lost her grandson of 32 years of age 3 years ago with brain cancer,my younger sister was diagnosed at the same time with brain cancer and at the moment the operations have kept it at bay,she was 32 years old when diagnosed.

And they say there is a god !!!

Keep strong everyone on here.

 

[Ireland Haroo]

pickles

 

[Anonymous]

My mother has been diagnosed as having dementia and we have been told she has to live in residential care. She is 68 years old, quite youngish for this appalling infliction.
What i want to know is this, when the health authority decide she has to live in residential care is that the case closed, cos this is really tearing me apart. She deserves so much better than this.

mate...take the help....trust me, you will need it when things start happening.

My missus's nan was diagnosed 4 years ago...for 3 years the family tried to take it in turns to help out. We had things like the fire brigade turning up because she had put something on the grille and gone out, also leaving the gas on without lighting it. Several occassions she was wandering round town with hundreds of pounds on her and half dressed. And one of the main senses to be lost is time awareness, so she may end up like my missus's nan wandering the streets at night. I know its your mum mate, but it does become a drain on the resources both mentaly and physically. In the end, they had to admit it was safer & better for her to be under 24/7 care.

My gran has just been diagnosed too and my dad is going through the same thing as you mate. My missus sat him down and discussed the options with him.

My missus and her mum went on a free course on dealing with dementia which should be offered to you if you want to care for her. Has she been assigned a social worker yet mate, if so, speak with them about the course

Absolutely right .......

once a person has dementia , their mind is all over the place ...... my mother , continually left the gas or electric grills on , lights on , fridge door open , and various other things ...... she also went wandering across busy main roads , and wasn't even aware she'd done it!

They're really struggling by that stage , there appears no way back from it , and they need real help.