Lucky Toma said:
and was thinking I might hear some funny stories or suggestions about the best way you've ended one.
I've had a couple of real bunny boiler clingy woman before I got married. What I thought was a one night stand turned into a fucking nightmare for months.
After meeting this girl in a club after a typical weekend session, we went back to mine(well my mums but she was a really heavy sleeper)
After the deed was done I pissed her off with a couple of quid for a taxi and directions to the nearest phone box and thought that would be the end of that.
Huge fucking mistake! My mum woke me up the next day at 10am, a full two hours before I was due to rise for my Sunday dinner session, and informed me my girlfriend was waiting downstairs for me.
Now I was still half cut from the night before and more than a little groggy. Nevertheless, little alarm bells were starting to ring and that nagging feeling of guilt that you always get after a drunken one night stand was now a big black cloud in my very near future.
I went downstairs still half dressed and there she was drinking tea and making small talk with my mum. What seemed like a passably attractive young woman with my beer goggles on turned into a dumpy little dwarf with a speech impediment and bad hair.
I was fucking mortified, my beer addled, sleep deprived brain was barely functioning and what looked like some grotesque cross dressing extra from the Time Bandits was sitting on my couch talking to my mum.
I got dressed in about 15 seconds and told her we'd go for a walk. As soon as I got her out of the house I told her I couldn't see her because I'd made arrangements for the day. Then went on to say I wasn't looking for a girlfriend because of work commitments. I went back in for breakfast and pissed off to the pub to tell the lads.
If I thought that was the end of her I was sadly mistaken. She called for me again that night and again I fobbed her off.
The worse was still to come. She actually lived just across the road on the new estate and from her bedroom window she could see my front door.
For the next 6 months she called at least twice a day and I even started climbing over the back yard wall every time I went out. If I used the front door she would ambush me in minutes and start pestering me.
I finally got fed up and after she'd called at my house one Sunday for the fourth time I just said "Look, will you just fuck off and stop bothering me"
She stood there with tears in her eyes and said "Does this mean we're not going out any more?"
"Yes" I said "We're not going out anymore"
It petered out after that and I met the mrs and moved out. I saw her again years later working on the checkout at Morrisons. She said hello as nice as pie and I said hello back. My fucking arse was twitching like fuck though and I started shopping at Asda.
