Darker shade of Blue said:
You're all Everton fans in disguise. You love us, and nothing will get in the way of your admiration for the greatest team the league has ever produced.
Get over it. We are in your dreams, and when we meet, in your nightmares, but we are always there, and you love it.
Hey DSOB!
I've always had this deep seated admiration for the way that Everton fans carry themselves. Honest, upfront, would give you their last quid. They are a true working class club, and one of the best teams in the league. I sometimes sit down and cry at night that it wasn't them who was taken over by the Sheik, so that they could show us how to be classy and have money.
Why oh why did the trillionaire Sheikh decide to invest in a bunch of common thieves, with no class, like us when they could have invested in the righteous and mighty Everton? I mean, did he know that Everton were the FOURTH most successful team in England EVER?
And why do we have to have unsuccessful managers who's main achievement was been gifted the Serie A title? What we really need, is the next Ferguson, the future of British management, the 'Chosen One' Davey Moyes. His achievements at Preston far outweigh any of these foreign mucks and City made a fatal error in overlooking the Scotch mastermind to replace that horrible, underhanded, dirty cheating Hughes scumbag, who sneaked into Goodison Park at night with his balaclava and kidnapped/hypnotised the poor lad Lescott. Ha, typical Manc behaviour that, getting a balaclava on and stealing things.
And history? History? Everton have more history in their little finger than most clubs have in their entire lives. You think of the greats in the game, Pele, Maradona, Paul Rideout, Romario, Baggio, etc and the list of Everton players just jumps out. Did you know that Everton were the FOURTH most successful team in England EVER? You can't BUY history like that! This obviously helps with their youth policy too, knowing that 'Golden Child' Davey Moyes will give them their chance to achieve immortality. Millions of kids around the world have grown up with posters of David Unsworth on their wall and you can't help but be attracted to a club of that size. Hell, even the kids who can't afford an Unsworth poster and have to trade it in for a Rooney poster all want to play for the club that Rooney dumped 3 games after he made a name for himself!
And that history! Wow, did you know that Everton were the FOURTH most successful team in England EVER?
You know, the 'next Dali Lama' Davey Moyes talks about their team spirit. They have this in abundance, more than anyone. More than City's overpaid mercenaries. More than Arsenal's pathetic little kids. More than the European Championships winning Greece team! Y'know, it might be a good idea to 'Sugar' Davey Moyes in charge of the Armed Forces? With the amount of team spirit and camaraderie that he would instil into British forces, the terrorists would become jealous, shed a tear, drop their weapons and embrace him in a giant, totally not gay manhug, whilst they cry on his shoulder and apologise for all of the wrong doings. You can't BUY that team spirit!
The current Everton team will just walk all over City tonight. I mean, their midfield is packed with future legends of the game. They have the heir apparent of Beckenbauer, Jack Rodwell, who is a quality player and can completely run a game when his ASBO allows him to play. They have the fourth best Australian player in Premiership history, Tim Cahill! They have Pienaar, the envy of World Football. I heard Barcelona are chasing him this summer to replace Xavi, they are desperate for some Pee.
Let us not forget their prolific strikers. The collosal giants of football. The two greatest strikers in the history of the world (except Franny Jeffers) Saha and Yakubu. Thanks to excellent management by 'Stone Cold' Davey Moyes (Moyes 3:16 says I just stole your precious), he managed to buy two strikers who spent so much time together in the injury room that their collective DNA binded to each other and formed a telepathic link. This link is exploited to great gain on the pitch and is why they are the two leading goalscorers in the Table Football league.
Anyway, I'm not expecting a huge City attendance tonight as most of our fans will explode with jealousy after seeing the teamsheet that you put out. Not to worry though, the stadium will still be loud due to Everton's fantastic away support, so even without any of us there I'm expecting AT LEAST a 3 million attendance. All of them proper working class scousers too, like Tony Blackburn, Freddie Starr and that other bloke from Steps.
Prediction: 255-0 to Everton. Premier League hands them the title, FA Cup and League Cup afterwards in recognition of their awesomeness. In the distance, when the wind is blowing in the right direction, the faint sobbing of Gerrard will be heard. He should have joined Everton, I mean didn't he know that they are the FOURTH most successful team in England EVER?
