Embarrassing drunken experiences

Selfies in the kebab shop posted on Facebook have happened on more than one occasion. I’ve woken up to them in the morning.

I’ve thrown up on the dancefloor in a nightclub. I’ve also fallen asleep on public transport and woken up in another county.
 
Puked on my mates back after drinking a bottle of QC
Pissed on my subwoofer blowing the electrics
Puked in my shoes at the side of the bed
 
1980, I was just 18 and was invited to a 21st at OT cricket ground with a work colleague from the Evening News
Pretty boring, so he suggested we head into town, so we go to Cellar Vie just off Deansgate
He was 22 so obviously experienced in drinking.
Ordered a bottle of Hungarian Bulls Blood, and from that point on, the night was going rapidly downhill
To this day, 37 years later, I don’t have a clue how I got home, but waking up on that Sunday morning, left an indelible mark on my alcohol habits
It was a weird sensation waking up with my first mother of all hangovers, but that was nothing by what I was about to discover lay under my sheets.
A warm sticky sensation all over the back of my legs, going up my back.
Shit everywhere!!!
Between the toes, you mame it, I was almost covered up to my chest.
What the fuck will Mum say about the state of the sheets?
Jump out of bed straight into the bath for a good scrubbing and time to think
Right, strip the bed, new sheets on, get rid of the old shit covered sheets
Maybe I was still pissed from the night before, but for some fucking weird reason , I folded them , sans shit, as neatly as possible and deposited them in the clothing donations bin at Stretford Sports Centre !!!
 
Woke up on the sofa after far too many stella panicking that i was gonna shit meself so shat in the kitchen sink.

Spewed on the back of me mates head

oh allsorts. Grown up a bit since mind.
 
jonah62 said:
1980, I was just 18 and was invited to a 21st at OT cricket ground with a work colleague from the Evening News
Pretty boring, so he suggested we head into town, so we go to Cellar Vie just off Deansgate
He was 22 so obviously experienced in drinking.
Ordered a bottle of Hungarian Bulls Blood, and from that point on, the night was going rapidly downhill
To this day, 37 years later, I don’t have a clue how I got home, but waking up on that Sunday morning, left an indelible mark on my alcohol habits
It was a weird sensation waking up with my first mother of all hangovers, but that was nothing by what I was about to discover lay under my sheets.
A warm sticky sensation all over the back of my legs, going up my back.
Shit everywhere!!!
Between the toes, you mame it, I was almost covered up to my chest.
What the fuck will Mum say about the state of the sheets?
Jump out of bed straight into the bath for a good scrubbing and time to think
Right, strip the bed, new sheets on, get rid of the old shit covered sheets
Maybe I was still pissed from the night before, but for some fucking weird reason , I folded them , sans shit, as neatly as possible and deposited them in the clothing donations bin at Stretford Sports Centre !!!
Click to expand...

There's nothing like sitting in a bath full of shit and arse water to make a boy feel clean.
 
After a crisis of confidence took a young lady home for the first time after splitting up with a girlfriend of 11 yrs. My wankered repartee must have been top notch as we dispensed with the formalities and were molesting each other before I got the keys in my new bachelor pad. Straight to the bedroom and away we went.
I awoke the next morning with a feeling i hadn't felt since i was 10 yrs old, the unmistakable wet sheet underneath.

I lay there thinking i am seriously going to die of embarrassment when this girl wakes up. So I lay there head hurting mind racing pretending to be asleep. She finally stired, got dressed woke then me up from my fake sleep and said she had to go, thanks for a good night and she had left her phone number on the fire and i should call her if I wished too.
This was not what i had expected...This was loosing quid and finding a tenner elation, In an instant my befuddled mind went through wtf was going on?...had I been mistaken, had i been facing away from her and only soiled my side? i heard the latch click into place on the front door and was out of bed like a greyhound in trap one, whipped back the quilt to reveal the wet patch was all on her side the dirty woman had pissed my bed.
 
I stopped drinking about four years ago, but went into Town on a mates leaving do one Friday dinner time. Foolishy got into rounds with some seasoned drinkers, who could give Oliver Reid and Shane McGowan a run for their money. Around half ten I was strughling to speak, stand and see and by touch managed to get myself to Victoria. On the last train from Town I couldn't see without closing one eye and started to feel really sick. With Atherton Train Station still a few minutes away had no choice to to throw up in by beanie hat. Got off the train and remember nothing up until waking up at about twenty to four in the morning being poked by two BTP coppers. Feeling relatively fresh after my nap I saw that I had two million missed calls and text messages from the fun prevention officer and decided to walked the four miles home. I did however forget that I'd spewed in my hat and put it on, but soon remembered and slung it in the bin. Fair to say I've not had a drink since.
 
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