Emigrating Guilt

[Main Stand Hotdog]

I suppose this is one for the Expats amongst you really.

The wife and I have decided to pay off the last of our debts this year and get the wheels in motion to move to Barcelona. The industry we work in is starting to take off over there, it's pretty much all based in London here and to work and live here is just getting too expensive, not to mention almost impossible to buy property.

We've started learning Spanish, my wife has just started working for a Barca based company (fully remote atm), we have friends out there already and we love the place, the people, the way of life etc. I think this could be a really exciting opportunity.

We also have a four year old son and he is the only grandchild on either mine or my wife's side. So you can imagine how much the grandparents and his Aunty (my sister) fuss over him. We've not told them that we're planning to move abroad and this is going to be the biggest hurdle for me personally.

They've been on at us constantly about leaving london and moving back up North to be closer to them as they feel they've been deprived of quality time with my son, so I'm fairly certain they will be beyond fucked off with the idea that we'll be leaving the country. I think the decision will do irreparable damage to my relationship with my parents and sister and regardless of how much I think I'm doing what is best for my family and what would make me happy, I will feel like a bit of arsehole.

Did any of you Expat Bluemooners have to sit with that sort guilt? If so was it just an inital thing that goes away over time or is it just sort of something you have to live with?

 

[RobMCFC]

I can understand you feeling a bit guilty, but if it's the best move for your immediate family, you shouldn't feel too bad.

Barcelona is a two-hour flight away but London is a 4 or 5-hour drive, so technically you'd be "closer"!

All the best with whatever you decide.

 

[asgoodasitgets]

Hi Pep

 

[Nebuchadnezzar]

A trip to you or vice versa couldn't be any easier thanks to the likes of Ryanair. It's not Australia

 

[PragueBlue]

I suppose this is one for the Expats amongst you really.

The wife and I have decided to pay off the last of our debts this year and get the wheels in motion to move to Barcelona. The industry we work in is starting to take off over there, it's pretty much all based in London here and to work and live here is just getting too expensive, not to mention almost impossible to buy property.

We've started learning Spanish, my wife has just started working for a Barca based company (fully remote atm), we have friends out there already and we love the place, the people, the way of life etc. I think this could be a really exciting opportunity.

We also have a four year old son and he is the only grandchild on either mine or my wife's side. So you can imagine how much the grandparents and his Aunty (my sister) fuss over him. We've not told them that we're planning to move abroad and this is going to be the biggest hurdle for me personally.

They've been on at us constantly about leaving london and moving back up North to be closer to them as they feel they've been deprived of quality time with my son, so I'm fairly certain they will be beyond fucked off with the idea that we'll be leaving the country. I think the decision will do irreparable damage to my relationship with my parents and sister and regardless of how much I think I'm doing what is best for my family and what would make me happy, I will feel like a bit of arsehole.

Did any of you Expat Bluemooners have to sit with that sort guilt? If so was it just an inital thing that goes away over time or is it just sort of something you have to live with?

I have/had no regrets or guilt in the 30+ years I lived abroad (and plan to go again shortly). Still got to see my friends and family when they came to visit us. I also feel there are a lot of more pleasant places to bring kids up than the UK nowadays, plus the kids pick up an additional language or two, which could be of great benefit for their futures.

 

[Main Stand Hotdog]

Hi Pep

Hahaha

 

[FantasyIreland]

Do what is right for you,please yourself first and foremost and accommodate if possible.....do not live your life for others.

 

[JASR]

A trip to you or vice versa couldn't be any easier thanks to the likes of Ryanair. It's not Australia

Indeed.
My sister went to NZ.
My bro-in-law went to Aus
I have an uncle who’s 3 kids all went to different parts of Aus.

So… yes it is hard for the relations left behind, but geez it’s only Barcelona!

You have to do what’s right for you (see weddings) not the family, else you’ll be behoeven forever.

It’s hard when you are the only child left in UK , in relation to aging parents, so IMO you’ll probably have most ‘guilt’ laid on you from her - you need to sort out the longterm arrangements for your parent/s with her/them before you go

 

[Main Stand Hotdog]

I can understand you feeling a bit guilty, but if it's the best move for your immediate family, you shouldn't feel too bad.

Barcelona is a two-hour flight away but London is a 4 or 5-hour drive, so technically you'd be "closer"!

All the best with whatever you decide.

That's very true

 

[TFC]

Had my Mum tell me the other day that her depression only really started after I moved to the US, so cant really relate sorry ;)

Its tough but you have to do what is right for you, the wife and kid(s). We have thought a lot (more recently than ever now my kids are starting to go through the yank school system) about coming home, but I dont know what I would do for work in honesty. They simply pay much more over here for my line of work so I'm kind of stuck. Ironically, I would love a move to mainland Europe and my Mum would be over the moon that we are that little bit closer.