Etilsalat 'Congratulations' Cringe

It's difficult to watch and a cringe-fest, but I'm sure MCFC's internal marketing team are more than aware of that.

Unfortunately, Etisalat will have that as an agreed piece of content in their contract (or paid as a one-off) and the partnerships team will have pushed this through to keep the client happy.

But... who cares. We're champions. That kid and Phil Foden will probably never live it down though.
 
Maybe "cringey" but spotted this leaked email - thought it deserved a wider audience.

Breaking News
An email from José Mourinho to his players has been leaked.

It is explosive stuff!!
……………………………………………..
Email
From: José Mourinho
Date: 15 April 2018 19.00
Subject: The José Mourinho Masterplan
To: All players

Dear all players, especially Paul,

First I must congratulate you all on the way you carried out my very special plan to lure the noisy neighbours into a stupid sense of superiority before I put in place my 2018/19 Masterplan.

Now I can share the next stage with you guys.

The brilliant way that you executed my instructions by avoiding the temptation to destroy those strangely named Baguleys(WBA) was awesome. Paul, you were simply great, you came through the entire match without a hair out-of-place, but I have to admit to disappointment in you Messe Lingard; I am told by the kit man that there were traces of sweat on your lycra panties and whilst you are young and have a short attention span, that is disappointing.

Now those Blue fools are wallowing in glee and will sink into somnolence. Ed tells me that’s a very good word and means that they will hibernate. I am waiting for him to explain what that means but it is also a very good word I think.

Ed is currently drawing up the plan to sign Jonny Evans who he says is very good even though he can’t spell Johny properly. He’s going to get us a Dawson as well, either Craig or Matty, whichever costs the most. He needs £100m for this and we have permission to spend it from our wonderful owners, if there’s still something left after they have deducted their vigorish. That is another very good word; I am learning lots from Ed.

I am not telling you guys too much at this stage because the good news for you is that most of you will not be here next season. I will be rebuilding on the excellence of my purchases to date; Paul, Romelu, Namanja, Victor, Alexis and Eric will be the solid core or my team. I seem to have mislaid Henrich and Zlatan but never mind, there are plenty more where they came from. Ed will negotiate well as for me as he never spends less that £50m on a player. He says that sometimes clubs are reluctant to accept that much but we have standards to maintain at Manchester United. Ed is a very clever man, much more clever than that bastard Abramovich.

You wait and see – City will not know what has hit them – we will bring in 12 new players for half a billion pounds, lose our pre-season games (and this is the very good bit) including at least 5-0 to City in USA, and then Pow – the PL season kicks off and they will not know what has hit them!

I am a genius, a very special one.

Yours

José
………………………………………………………….
 
I received an email a bit back about being involved in some filming on the bridge. Glad I declined!!
 
Bluep*ss said:
Maybe "cringey" but spotted this leaked email - thought it deserved a wider audience.

Breaking News
An email from José Mourinho to his players has been leaked.

It is explosive stuff!!
……………………………………………..
Email
From: José Mourinho
Date: 15 April 2018 19.00
Subject: The José Mourinho Masterplan
To: All players

Dear all players, especially Paul,

First I must congratulate you all on the way you carried out my very special plan to lure the noisy neighbours into a stupid sense of superiority before I put in place my 2018/19 Masterplan.

Now I can share the next stage with you guys.

The brilliant way that you executed my instructions by avoiding the temptation to destroy those strangely named Baguleys(WBA) was awesome. Paul, you were simply great, you came through the entire match without a hair out-of-place, but I have to admit to disappointment in you Messe Lingard; I am told by the kit man that there were traces of sweat on your lycra panties and whilst you are young and have a short attention span, that is disappointing.

Now those Blue fools are wallowing in glee and will sink into somnolence. Ed tells me that’s a very good word and means that they will hibernate. I am waiting for him to explain what that means but it is also a very good word I think.

Ed is currently drawing up the plan to sign Jonny Evans who he says is very good even though he can’t spell Johny properly. He’s going to get us a Dawson as well, either Craig or Matty, whichever costs the most. He needs £100m for this and we have permission to spend it from our wonderful owners, if there’s still something left after they have deducted their vigorish. That is another very good word; I am learning lots from Ed.

I am not telling you guys too much at this stage because the good news for you is that most of you will not be here next season. I will be rebuilding on the excellence of my purchases to date; Paul, Romelu, Namanja, Victor, Alexis and Eric will be the solid core or my team. I seem to have mislaid Henrich and Zlatan but never mind, there are plenty more where they came from. Ed will negotiate well as for me as he never spends less that £50m on a player. He says that sometimes clubs are reluctant to accept that much but we have standards to maintain at Manchester United. Ed is a very clever man, much more clever than that bastard Abramovich.

You wait and see – City will not know what has hit them – we will bring in 12 new players for half a billion pounds, lose our pre-season games (and this is the very good bit) including at least 5-0 to City in USA, and then Pow – the PL season kicks off and they will not know what has hit them!

I am a genius, a very special one.

Yours

José
………………………………………………………….
Click to expand...
hehe :), you do know that in 12 weeks time the scousers will have won the champions league and rags the FA Cup and the Gill backed RUSSIANS will have POISONED all our world cup players and the [RUSSIAN backed] media will drop our wins into the annals of insignificance? You know this yeah?
I used to think foil was for sausages ;)
 
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